Monday, November 30, 2009

Some things ...

They say, things change with time.... and also say some things never change!

Which one is true.... I do not know....

Seems like I am getting philosophical here.... unlikely to expect from me, seeing at my posts here until now. But then what do I know, or what does anyone know!

Okay thing is that I have to be at Paris for a few days, no not for vacation but from office for work.

When that was asked to me, I felt really happy, a nice feeling you know.... but that lasted only a few minutes and as soon as it sunk in, I didn't feel that good anymore.

Thing is, I remember last year we were at Paris, it was so much fun, one of the most memorable trips and this time it's not with him!

He just returned from Canada and now I have to go. We hardly stayed together this month. I know we live together but I still miss him!

Is that weird? Or may be some things really never change!

Year 2005, When he had to got Singapore for work, I cried for days and days, not because I was not happy but because it was unbearable to live a single day without him.

I didn't feel like eating, I didn't feel like doing anything. All I did was wake up, go to college, attend classes with absent mind, go to internet cafe on the way back, come home, and try to sleep. I remember one week I didn't eat anything for 4 days at a stretch, not because i wanted to prove something but because i didn't feel like... i didn't feel hungry or may be i didn' t feel anything. All what i could feel was that i missed him, i wanted to be with him. I felt empty and constant pain in my heart.

Then looking at me my friends could make it out what was going on ( nice friends, huh ) and they came with me after college and denied to leave until I have something, and that day I had sugarcane juice after 4 days of having nothing.

When he was back, I had all my trousers hanging on me... I know I know that's bad, and I should never do that, but I was immature that time, now I have grown up ;)

But then once he was back after 35 days, I was all happy and it was a wonderful feeling to feel in

I have got better over time; I learned what to do when he had to travel. I learned to manage time in a wiser way and I also learned that it was time to catch up with lots of things I was not getting time for otherwise.

Now after marriage, and as we moved here things are even better, when he has to go somewhere. I don't cry. I do eat properly and I started feeling things change!

But that was only until he was going and I was staying back... until I had to go. Now when I have to go, I feel same again. I don't feel good. Even though we live together I want to be with him.

May be waiting for someone we love is easier than leaving behind someone we love..... but then what do i know !!

So may be some things never change...

Or May be this will also change ... matter of time may be.... who knows!

P.S. I do eat now.... and this is first day here and i had a full meal reaching here. So don't worry guys that way :)

So may be things do change !

Picture coutsey:


Orangesplaash said...

This post struck a cord somewhere, making me remember my first time :-)
Though I didnt go to the extremes of not having food..But yes, those days were difficult.

Nice post..

~ Lopa said...

@ Orangesplaash

Hey what's up? After a long time, where were you?
Back to the post, yeah i have been to all extremes... hehehe but then i was in college, a dreamy state ... a know when everything and anything is possible :)

Anonymous said...

I am going through the same situation. You know that. This post makes me feel better, thinking that even I will get used to it, maybe. Right on time! Dear friend. :)
One doubt.... Do guys feel the same? What do you think.

Swatantra said...

Cute!! Beautiful..

Reminded me of my first time.. things change and time changes thing because things change with time.. Now when i have to go out i first miss Siddharth and then him..

cyclopseven said...

Missing someone you love so much, is like missing eternity itself. Nothing remains, only changes. God bless.

~ Lopa said...

@ Neha

yeah, i know it :)
I think guys do feel at one level but mey be intensity differs ! :)

@ Swatantra

Thanks :)
Agree with what you say.... things change and time changes thing because things change with time !
So Things do change ! :)

~ Lopa said...

@ cyclopseven

Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting :)
Yeah, only change is constant !

Orangesplaash said...

@ Lopa, Yeah am good. Its been a long time, I know. Was kind of busy in a lot of other stuff.
Now back to some serious blogging :-)

nameera said...

i read this long back..but had no time to fr being the last one to do so..
hmm..a very different blog..haven't seen u writing like this ever before!
felt kinda sad sad too by seeing u as a sad pup..which we never did.
Hmm...only thing i wann asay is dont have to miss Ashu..for he lives in ur heart
so..Chill..Paris is a nice place!
have fun! :)

~ Lopa said...

@ Orangesplaash

Cool, hope to catch more of you then :)

@ nameera

I am not sad, I am happy, I am back to home now...yeyyy :oD

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