I have been busy again, for well known reasons!
If I have to summarize this new experience or new phase of life in a few words i would say "you can never IMAGINE the life, emotions and love you experience with a baby in your life, you only know when you have one."
I often heard that you cannot imagine your life with a baby until you have one and you cannot imagine your life without them once you have them. Now i know better what it meant.
Aaah and now that i am back to work talking in language of Projects - This will be the most difficult, most challenging and most satisfying project you will ever handle, if you manage this project well, there won't be any other project in the world which you cannot manage!
We have evolved from what we were last year. We thought we had it all figured out, we knew what it means to love someone, to care for someone but as soon as our Little Bunny arrived in our lives it all seemed naive.
We always liked babies but it is different when it is your own. You know their flaws and still you cannot help being blind and behaving as they rightly say for parents the most perfect and beautiful baby in the world is their own.
I didn't know i was capable of loving someone with any more intensity than i already did. However that feeling didn't come over the night.
For Ashu, it was a love at first sight, i saw it in his eyes when he saw our lil Bun for the first time in operation room and he went speechless. He stood there staring at him murmuring something like Lopa you should see this; it is the most incredible thing and the most beautiful baby!
I was more like yes we have a baby and it took me some time to sink it in that this little baby was really inside me all this time. I even missed him in my belly whenever i touched it and i didn't get a kick back in response!
As days passed, i could feel the emotions building up (which might be hormones actually!) and the love.
Now that i am back at work there stands my insecurities about leaving him at day care, about not being able to spend enough time with him and then losing sleep on what if he wouldn't recognize me as his mom as he hardly sees me during whole day!
I know i shouldn't worry and it all falls in place, but now i can see how motherhood and worrying over small things go hand in hand. Now i understand better why our mom's always keep worrying about us.
Yup, i have it all figured out.... They are side-effects of being a mom!