Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Being a mom !

I have been busy again, for well known reasons!

If I have to summarize this new experience or new phase of life in a few words i would say "you can never IMAGINE the life, emotions and love you experience with a baby in your life, you only know when you have one."
I often heard that you cannot imagine your life with a baby until you have one and you cannot imagine your life without  them once you have them. Now i know better what it meant. 

Aaah and now that i am back to work talking in language of Projects - This will be the most difficult, most challenging and most satisfying project you will ever handle, if you manage this project well, there won't be any other project in the world which you cannot manage! 

We have evolved from what we were last year. We thought we had it all figured out, we knew what it means to love someone, to care for someone but as soon as our Little Bunny arrived in our lives it all seemed naive.

We always liked babies but it is different when it is your own. You know their flaws and still you cannot help being blind and behaving as they rightly say for parents the most perfect and beautiful baby in the world is their own. 

I didn't know i was capable of loving someone with any more intensity than i already did. However that feeling didn't come over the night.  
For Ashu, it was a love at first sight, i saw it in his eyes when he saw our lil Bun for the first time in operation room and he went speechless. He stood there staring at him murmuring something like Lopa you should see this; it is the most incredible thing and the most beautiful baby!
I was more like yes we have a baby and it took me some time to sink it in that this little baby was really inside me all this time. I even missed him in my belly whenever i touched it and i didn't get a kick back in response!
As days passed, i could feel the emotions building up (which might be hormones actually!) and the love. 
Now that i am back at work there stands my insecurities about leaving him at day care, about not being able to spend enough time with him and then losing sleep on what if he wouldn't recognize me as his mom as he hardly sees me during whole day!

I know i shouldn't worry and it all falls in place, but now i can see how motherhood and worrying over small things go hand in hand. Now i understand better why our mom's always keep worrying about us.
Yup, i have it all figured out.... They are side-effects of being a mom!

9 comments:

Life Begins said...

Yes indeed its the most incredible feeling one can have and any number of words will not be enough to describe that. Worrying over tiniest thing, rejoicing in minutest action - thats motherhood. Enjoy!
I love it with its odds and evens and would not change it for my life.

Viral said...

You are always been beautiful writer. But this is amazing... :)

sudhakar said...

You have written excellently about mother & father's feelings about your child. It is true that all our thoughts; insecurities, worry and happiness revolve around our children. Maybe this the driving force for life.
Once agin you write nicely and keep it up.

~ Lopa said...

@ Life Begins,
When i started writing i felt the same that any number of words is not going to be enough to pen down what i feel. There are somethings in the world that you know only when you feel it yourself.
Totally agree with you on every bit :)

~ Lopa said...

@ Viral,
Thanks Viral, that is so nice of you to drop by. Your words are always encouraging and inspires me to share more :)

~ Lopa said...

@ sudhakar ji,
I can imagine that how all parents can relate with these feelings. I am happy to hear i am not alone in the sea of insecurities and worry over a kid :)
Thanks, i try to write but it is comments like this that inspires me to come back and try again whenever i get too busy with routine chores.

Invader_Stu said...

I'm on the verge of discovering that as well. My wife is due in two weeks but we think it will be sooner. Even though it is so close we are still finding it hard to imagine what it will be like. Very excited though :)

~ Lopa said...

@Invader_Stu,

Congratulations !!!

I have missed quite some updates in between due to obvious reasons with a new kid around but when i read your post about books for to be dad i though to ask you if there was a good news ....but again slipped from my mind !

Hope to be mom is doing great and wishing you a great time ahead. All the very best for a new phase of your lives :)

Ambika said...

What a touching blog. Although I'm inexperienced, your blog put me in your shoes for a few minutes. It's great that you share these fears out openly- shows how strong and secure you are.. Evaan is blessed to have parents for who he is the centre of the universe. And you both are blessed for having such an adorable baby in your world. Love!!

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