Dream which came true...

After the big news for us, it was time to pass on the same to our families. I was so confused and felt so unprepared on how to unfold it to everyone. Also we wanted to wait till the confirmation with doctor before we tell anyone. It was not that difficult to wait as we had already plans of flying over to Milan for a long weekend.

We were hoping for some nice shopping time and good Italian food, well the trip didn't turn out exactly what we expected, atleast for me. The morning sickness / nausea suddenly kicked in making me feeling sick almost all the time while there. All i wanted to do was to sleep as i felt tired and exhausted.

I couldn't eat anything as suddenly i developed aversion towards tomato and cheese, and if you know Italian cooking it is difficult not to have them especially with me being vegetarian.

We did manage some shopping and walking around the street. And i enjoyed Italian ice-cream, so yummy!

But you know somehow you start relating things with the state of mind you were in at that particular moment, so till today all the dresses i wore while i was there just glimpse of them reminds me of nausea and how awful i felt. I haven't been able to wore any of those again (well, they don't fit me also anymore but still). 

By the way this is what we found while walking on the streets of Milan. Aaahn romantic Italians ! ;o)

Anyway we flew back, went to doctor, and got the confirmation but i was still confused as it was still based on the same pregnancy test i did back home. In India things work differently, it is common to have an ultrasound done on your first visit but here they didn't check anything, wishes us congratulations and passed on midwife references to select one from.

I made an appointment with midwife, and they don't give you appointment until you are 8 weeks along, so I was a bit more confused. How do I tell everyone without a proper check-up and confirmation!

First appointment came, and again nothing. As first appointment is suppose to be counseling one and then they don't check or do ultrasound. They wait until week 11-12 for the first ultrasound.

Now i was losing patience and we decided to start telling people around us anyway, if not all atleast we have to start with our families.

I decided to inform them by writing them.

I wrote letters to my parents, parents-in-laws, my brother, sister, and Ashu's brother.

Write up varied but basically it went with similar concept.

First page said “They said always be positive and you know what we got positive today?"

Then inside i stick a picture of positive pregnancy test result and it read, "Yes got it right, Congratulations to be grand parents!”

The one i wrote to my sister was different than those. She was getting married in January and teased me just a few weeks back that it will be so nice if you plan family now then when you come to wedding we have your shower function as well and i laughed it out saying it is too late for that to plan.

So she got the first ever letter from little one. I don't remember exact wording but it went something like this...

Page 1 Front:

"Hi,

I heard you are getting married in January, and you expressed a wish for me also to be present there.

Well I heard you and just wanted to know that I will be there to attend your wedding"

Page 2 Inside:

"Congratulations Masi" (Masi = maternal aunt)

I sent both letters for my brother and sister together and i asked him to video shoot her reaction when she reads it and to send me. Well he did what i asked. At first she read the first page and gave a confused look on what it is? And then as she read inside she just laughed and laughed for full 5 mins, before uttering a word. I do still have that video and i crack up every time i watch it!

Can Dreams be real? ( Part # 2)

After the negative test, somehow i could not accept that test result, though it was likely to be true. I checked the stick after 5 mins, 10 mins, 15 mins and then i threw it in dustbin.

At night after cleaning when i opened the dustbin to throw some more garbage, i saw a very light second line appearing on the pregnancy kit. I couldn't help checking it a few more times.

When we went to bed i could not fall asleep. To clear my mind I took my phone and started googling on accuracy of home pregnancy tests.

It read - good time for test is early morning with first urine. During the day time it is possible not to have accurate result. I decided to do the test again in the morning.

So far i hadn't told Ashu about the negative test or something. It wasn't that we were planning for sometime but still somehow i was so convinced that morning test will be positive and then i will tell him giving him a surprise. So now laying in bed my mind went journeying on how to tell him, what will he react? How shall i announce it to him? Finally i decided something and fall asleep.

In the morning i woke up early. Rushed to bathroom and took the test. I was so convinced already on the outcome, and it did come true to my expectations when i looked at the stick.

I ran upstairs to the study room.

Took a card paper (which i had bought thinking to create home-made cards, someday!), scribbled a few words with sketch pen.

Folded it and inside glued the stick with result. (Yes i did wash it before doing all this)

Then i took the paper, went to bedroom where Ashu's mobile was charging and placed it beneath his cell so he will read when he will go for his cell before leaving for office.

Then i continued with routine. Went for a shower. Ashu was in hurry to leave early for some morning meeting so we hardly talked.

I was upstairs ironing my dress when i heard him calling that he is leaving. I heard him going to charging point for cell.

Silence for a minute.

Then i heard him calling me...

Lopiiii...is this true?

In two minutes he was upstairs in ironing room running with that hand-written paper in his hand.

He looked at me. smiled.

"Really?"

"hmm"

He couldn't stop repeating it for a minute and then he hugged me tight, we stood there like that and we danced for a minute with our eyes wet :)

So that was the day we knew, we had our little one coming.

I took doctor appointment for next week, and then the wait started.

That was 22nd September 2011.

PS. I did tell Suz about my doctor appointment, and she couldn't be any more excited. She called me especially in the evening for confirmation after i returned from doctor! After all she was the only one who knew even before we knew!

Can Dreams be real? ( Part # 1)

It was month of September. I had been quite busy with a project at work past few months, doing overtime almost everyday. But it was about to get over as project Go-live date was approaching just in 2 weeks.

In laws had just gone back to India from a 10 weeks visit, it was just last 2 days or so i was not doing over-time and still i felt exhausted and tired. I thought it might be a break-down. My body has reached a point and cannot do anymore, this is what exhaustion is.

I was thinking this, sitting at my desk in the morning and a colleague came to me smiling. Let's call her Suz. She comes and tells me i had you in my dream yesterday.

Aaah, now that was a surprise.

So.... what was it about?

I had a dream that you are pregnant !

huh?

Yes, we were sitting here at my desk, you came there and were sitting in a chair next to me and then told me that you are pregnant. I was so happy, we hugged and i was telling you that i am so happy for you.

hehe that's funny :)

Is it true, are you?

No, i am not.

Ya it is weird that i had such a dream, else before this i never had a dream about you.

hmm ya, strange.

So we laughed a bit and got back to work.

In the evening, i was felling tired and could not take it anymore. So i informed in the office that i am leaving a bit early today.

Suz looked at me from behind her desktop and commented:

May be you are pregnant ! That's a sign. You feel tired when you are.

I laughed and left for home. While driving back home, i kept thinking whether it is possible.

I was late only by 2 days and that was normal considering all the stress at work. Whenever too stressed and exhausted i had been late even a week before. So there was nothing new in that.

But somehow i couldn't shrug the thoughts off.

I kept thinking if it was possible possible, to clear my mind i decided to take home pregnancy test.

I took the home pregnancy test as soon as i reached home and guess what?

It came Negative !!

So may be that was just a dream, and not all dreams are real !!

21st September 2011