Here i am, back.

After my big flop show on trying hands at blogging marathon, many times i sat down with mind full of thoughts to pen down....but as soon as i started writing i felt i need an explanation to all, a good enough one, for failing to write. So i thought and thought some more.

Home situation with no baby-sitter?
My Lil Bun's teething phase ?
Our summer vacation, which we finally managed, and visited my sister.

Ohh did i tell you about it and that how much Lil Bun loved it? He loved running in open back yard, he watered the herbs, he fed salad to chickens, he enjoyed the swings and loved the tree-house. It was so nice to see him happy and we were so happy to manage some family time together.

Only thing he didn't eat much... may be it was over-whelming everything new stage, his teething stage, or not having his dinner chair around...we could not figure it out. Then he fell sick the week following we were back and after that things have approved and he is working on getting his rosy cheeks back, almost there :-)

So you get the picture. And also last but not the least...my laziness and guilt of quitting marathon so abruptly and then not being able to drop by to say how shameful i felt about it.
But finally i have braved and i am here, writing once again.

One more thing that i am trying to get back once again is painting, sorry not painting actually but sketching. I did a lot while in school and haven't much lately so i thought why not !
Also trying to get back to cooking and trying new things.
Now let's hope i don't fall of this bandwagon this time.

Wish me luck.

Ohh and yes, also my first Karwa Chauth this year. Not first after the marriage but first that i decided to celebrate.

Happy KarwaChauth all lovely people out there celebrating.

Highs and Lows of last year - Day 9

Trying to catch up with my Blog Marathon :-)

Topic for Day 9: Highs and Lows of last year.

This one is easier. Last year being 2012, one of the life changing ones for us.

Highs :

2012 January - My sister's marriage....happy for her dream to come true... international couple getting married in an Indian setting. Love without boundaries, beyond the countries, cultures, religions, and one of the most fun weddings i attended till date. 

2012 May - We got lil bun in our lives. First time we saw him, hold him and kissed his delicate cheeks. Lots of joys and different perspective to our lives that he brought. 

2012 May to August - I got to stay with my mum for almost 3 months continuously after more than 10 years ! Same with dad, 4 weeks together after 10 years !

Lows:

2012 January - Spending 2 days in ICU during January'2012 while in india. Less than a week to go to my baby shower, less than two weeks before my sister's wedding. Worried faces all around. Not knowing what happened, waking up in hospital and worrying if this might have affected lil Bun inside me.

2012 August - When my parents left to go back home in August'12, i cried for 2-3 continuous days. 

2012 August - September - When i had to leave lil Bun in kindergarden and start back at work.

Quite an eventful year we had, 2012 we will never forget you :-)

By the way how was it for you?

7 Me - Day 7

As you can see, i already faced some hindrance in my marathon blogging. 

But i told you in the start itself, not to have too high expectations from me... i know i can be lazy but this has more to do with my schedule now a days, packed. Let's see if i can catch up, atleast nothing wrong in trying, right? :-)

Day 7: 7 facts about me, 7 being my DOB.

This one was really difficult. I can't believe myself that i cannot think any 7 interesting things about me, may be because i have too many to write or may be i have written so much about "i, me, myself", there is hardly any fact remaining to share worth sharing ! :-P

Lets see if you think you knew this about me : 

1. I didn't have a single girlie thing in my wardrobe when i was a kid. My first dress, i begged and fought for. When i got it i wore it, i danced and i circled closing my eyes in happiness. I have a picture like that as well. Thanks for clicking and saving that wonderful memory maa-pa :)

2. I used to write a diary as a kid. It went on something like. 

I woke up at 7:00am, I was late for school. I came back home in afternoon at 12:30. I had lunch. I went out to play in the evening. I slept at 8:00 pm.

And then i wondered why do people say it is good to write diary, mine reads same everyday. I used to be happy when we go out as then i can write today we went out for dinner. Or we went to xyz's house. Something different, huh? I even thought it is good to write because may be when i grow up i would like to read exactly which day i woke up or slept at what time. Guess what, I was wrong !

3. You know those white spots we get on nails as some calcium/ zinc/ vitamin deficiency. As kids, we used to think number of those marks shows how many best friends we got, and we used to keep counting how many each of us got. Look at the irony, i got none of those now. Does that mean i have no friends left? Nah, don't believe you stupid tale.

4. I cannot stand dumb people and dumb questions. Not that i have some extra-ordinary ideas about myself and my IQ, but somehow dumbness always came as a big turn off for me. Lack of general knowledge, can do with world being so vast to know it all but lack of common sense ? Nah no.

5. I couldn't eat too much sweet, after a few bites i start feeling uneasy. But during my pregnancy i developed a sweet-itooth...specially chocolate cakes. No wonder lil Bun loves them as well. More than year's time and i still haven't managed to lose my sweet tooth :-P

6. When i was a kid, i always wanted to be an engineer. I did become one and look at the irony i work for one and still not work on that !

7. I wanted a little sister and asked for one. I got one, cloud 9 i was on. My sister wanted a little brother and asked for one, we got one and were on cloud 9. I know we have amazing parents, don't i keep telling you? So much pressure we put on them...hehe and they delivered :D

Phewww. So did you know this about me already? :-)

Love to read - Day 6

I loved reading since i was a kid. I think i inherited from my parents, both of them loves reading.

I remember my summer vacation, we used to go stay at my grand parents. My grandpa not only loves reading but he had a small library setup in one cupboard. So it was a treat, i will forget to eat or drink and will be lost in my own world trying to finish as many books as i can.

Today's topic was "Favourite Books", i changed it as I don't have a favourite book ! I do have some authors that i like to read more may be. As a teenager i read anything i came across. I read those short storied which used to come in special editions of news paper on Wednesdays and Sundays.

Then i started reading Ashwini Bhatt, and i loved those novels. I even took my first library card so that i can read all of his novels and at the time it used to be difficult to get hold of them as they were that much in demand.

After that i was into Shree Kainyalal Munshi. They were so rich with history and royal characters that i remember being in love with those characters and i couldn't stop thinking about them for days after. I felt so sad when i finished them, i just wanted them to go and go. He is one genius that Gujarati shahitya was blessed with. I think i would still like to read them again. 

Then i moved to English ones and i will not bore with all the names but again it started as reading anything we get hold of...borrowing and sharing with friends. There have been phases of preferring one author over other and quite a few.

But in recent times one of my favourite authors is Dan Brown, i  liked his Deception Point and Da Vinci Code. I have read all of his books but i think the recent ones are not at par with those earlier ones. 

My current no-brain, light read chick lit favourite is Jill Mansell. Just because her characters are i can relate to, and they feed hopeless romantic inside me making me believe everything falls in place in the end. 

So that's me. 

How about you? :-)

Biggest Regret of my life - Day 5

Only if you turned back your life, what will you change ?

There might be all, there might be none.

If i change back my life, how will i be sure, you will be still in my life?

So basically, i love my life and i do not have any big regrets. Small mistakes ofcourse, but i wouldn't have learnt and grown without them.

When i try hard, there is one thing i can remember though during my teenage years.

That was my board exam year, i wasn't worried about my results. Because i always thought i wanted to be an engineer and i knew i will score enough to be one.

So i hardly studied. When my classmates stayed awake whole night studying, i would happily go and sleep early in my over-confidence.

My dad might have thought he has such a brilliant kids, like all parents think. And looking at my past records he thought i will score enough to become a doctor. I kept saying him that i see the life you lead, odd  hours...any time emergency calls so i am not going to be one. He laughed it out and thought might be me joking. 

Year passed and when my result came, sure enough i scored enough to be an engineer. But i broke my dad's heart. 

Only thing he told me that day was, it was ok if you didn't want to be a doctor...i wouldn't have forced you but i am shocked to see you didn't try harder thinking you might be. (And i feel ashamed accepting, he was right ! ) If you had scored for it, then it would have been your choice that you could get in anything you wanted and then you selected something you always wanted to do. Now it is you have limited choices open. 

And that moment i knew, the mistake i made.

I broke his heart and his trust, someone who trusted me and still does as much as no one in this world ever did or does.

So my biggest regret of my life is i didn't work harder, i didn't try harder.

In the years that followed, i have never forgotten those words. That was the biggest lesson of my life, try and then if you do not wish to go ahead with what is in front of you..... you will always have a choice to make. If you do not try, there will be no cross-roads to select from, no choices to make.

Favourite Comfort food / Favourite childhood toy - Day 3 / Day 4

Yes i missed Day 3, already !

But i told you my aim on the first day itself, didn't i? So today i am just going to combine Day 3 and Day 4 both, as seriously i could have written one word post for both topics if i wanted to cheat and keep the marathon day count on track.

Day 3's topic was : Favourite Comfort food.

There cannot be more difficult question for someone who just loves food.

My other blog "Cook with me..." is a proof of that, i just love to eat. I actually love to cook as well but after lil Bun's entry in our lives it has got a bit complicated.

I used to love parathas and paneer sabzis, but now a days i love different kinds of soup, i have tried so many varieties at home in last 3-4 months that i hadn't tried even in my whole before-this-obsession-started-life combined till then.

But you can't eat just soup everyday, and you need something more solid, more filling to fill your stomach. Now a days that award will go to Pizza and Pasta. We make Pizza at home atleast once a week, sometimes even after that we eat it out or order them home. And we eat Pasta min once or twice a week. So it had kind of become our staple and comfort food. We eat indian may be once or twice a week only. And when we do, we end up with bloated uncomfortable bellies complaining heavy food or over-eating !

Day 4's topic was : Favourite Childhood toy.

Now this one is even more difficult, considering i don't remember me being a toy person !

I remember i was into collecting pens. I needed a new pen before every exam, and that too only if papa got me a new one and that will be the one i would be writing my exams with. I was so fond of pens, my cupboard had a special corner for them. Whenever we visited stationery shops, all i would eye is big displays of pens. What i loved the most as gifts were pens ! haha So easy it was to please me ! lol

But when i try hard enough to remember a toy, one things which comes to my mind is a stuffed goat that i had...kind of real looking with real goat hairs. I used to love it. But then after some years its hair started coming off and my parents decided it wasn't good enough for me to play with it anymore. So for some years it stood on highest shelf where i cannot reach as i wouldn't allow throwing it away. There atleast i could see it and can be happy it is there. It was as if it was my pet, i wanted it with me all the time. I would pat it, touch it, pamper it, play with it.

I have some pictures with it, even in the family pics i have it standing beside me. I don't remember how old i was at that time.... when i got that goat i was less than 3, i am sure, may be 2. I don't remember getting it, all i remember is i had it forever from my earliest memories.

And guess what !! If it was too difficult to pictures what i was talking about, i managed to dig one photo out of old albums, have a look. haha :-D Yes that was my goat :-)

So that's for now and i am really sleepy now. Have been feeling a bit of upset stomach, so a bit headache n backache as well. Time to catch up some sleep and rest as lil Bun won't change his morning schedule to let mumma rest a few mins extra ! :-)

Good Night and have a fabulous week ahead.

p.s. i will do spell check tomorrow, promise. Sorry for my fast and furious post, which might be full of unreadable english, due to my sleepy brain. Sorry !!!

Can Dreams be Real ? Part # 3

Life is really expecting the unexpected. And full of Déjà vu moments.

Remember how i wrote about, "Can dreams be real?  Part # 1, Part #2 ".

I came face-to-face with similar dilemma recently.

Last week i had a dream, about a friend that she is expecting. Strangely this is the second time that i dreamed about her, first time was last year when it wasn't true and still i couldn't shrug off strong feeling of a need to talk to her even when we were scheduled to meet in two days, during the weekend. I felt even stranger because i have never dreamed about any of my other friends in a similar fashion. (My friend at work whom i mentioned in "Can dreams be real", she even asked me a few times if i had similar dreams about her as she had for me, and it was sad to deny every time !)

So you see it was unusually unusual situation for me. When i couldn't control my curiosity any longer and didn't see her online, i ended up texting her and when reply didn't come immediately, suddenly i was as sure as one ever could be that it is true. So second text sent "is it true?”

A bit heated reply came on the line of why couples who've turned parents take it up as their sole responsibility to get everyone to join their club.... a few more texts exchanged and left me feeling uneasy, even a bit guilty...more so because i consciously try never to ask anyone such question and more never to interfere in anyone's life. Their lives, their decisions. So i felt a bit of miserable seeing what i just did!

I also felt uncomfortable thinking we were meeting in two days and i hurt us, not a very nice situation when you were looking forward to catch up with good old friend.

Anyway 2 days passed and we stood at their door. I see her and first thing i think is she can totally be pregnant.

I kept mum not to hurt her feelings again. But i can't take my eyes off her; sure her belly looks different from under that top she is wearing, that cannot be just fat and even her breasts look full.

A feeling of embarrassed rushed to my mind that i couldn't stop noticing things. I again felt the urge to tell her but then i looked at mobile in my hand, remembered our last exchange and kept mum.

Now i know very well that how much this dear friend of mine loves drinks, especially when with friends and for the first time i see her opting for a cola while people around her were having Mojitos. We waited her to join us for cheers and she ran to toilet! Even when we shouted areeeee, wait... first come do cheers then go. But she didn't stop.

When she came back and joined us with her drink, i couldn't control any longer and i had to say it - Why are you drinking cola? 

And she went all on how she had a heavy lunch which is giving her troubles and she feels constipated and needs some relief.

I didn't believe it, but was there a point to keep asking same question again and again? You cannot force it on people, right?

So we talked about things in general and waited for our other friends to arrive and join us.

When our other friends arrived and we were standing in balcony talking, i see them. Both of them, couple, making eye contacts and talking in signs. Next moment they were gone, inside. Again what can you do than to ignore? So i decided to ignore. Again.

Next they appeared was with changed cloths. And before the guy finishes we have news to share, i was hugging her congratulating!

I felt funny that i was so confident that i congratulated even without them mentioning and without listening what were the good news while others were still struggling to find out what was it and what was written on their t-shirts!!!

What if i was wrong? 

That will be dying with an embarrassment.

But well, i didn't die. I am still alive.

It was only after almost 5-10 mins that everyone were done hugging everyone congratulating and the news was settled in minds that i noticed what their changed T-shirts read, "Mum to-be" and "Pa to-be" !

Pheeeew!!

Congratulations my dear friends. Wish you a very Happy and Healthy pregnancy ahead and lovely parenthood in time to come.

God Bless.

P.S. I have intentionally kept away the identity/ names of my friends.

As much as we are excited for them, i cannot steal their happy moments to convey the news to the world. And they will as and when they are ready.

Lil Bun's Diary # 3, Small Wonders !

I keep trying to remember that i need to document small things that lil Bun surprises us with, but somehow time just runs short.  But here i am trying to do so once again.

Lil Bun has become so active now a days that keeps us on toes all the time.`

He wants to run all the time, as soon as we enter the house he runs towards us, holds our finger and pulls us outside door, yes it's time to go out. Wouldn't budge from his stand until we take him out. He loves to walk. We get tired but he keep going on.

Lil Bun surprised me the other day, he spotted a small piece of polythene, picked up the junk and before we wonder what he was upto and before i say don't try to put that in mouth he was standing there beside garbage bin, trying to open it so that he can throw it in that. Respect !!

He tries to mimic us. He sees me combing my hair, he takes comb from me and tries to comb his own hair. I brush his teeth, then he wants to brush mine. I feed him with spoon, he wants to feed me back. I dry his face with towel, then he smiles and takes towel from my hand to dry my face with it. It's like a game. Fun.

We didn't give him chocolates, sweets, cakes until he turned one, then we though he can taste it now. Initially he didn't like it that much, may be he didn't have a taste for it yet. And then to our surprise suddenly he loves it now!!!

He knows where the chocolates are, the other day he climbed the couch and reached it. Opened the wrapper (as good as he could ofcourse, half torn kind) and ate it. When I spotted him and went to him, before i ask what he was upto he bribed mom with a bite of chocolate. hmm. Trouble.

Last weekend we been to a birthday party in a park. It was so much fun. Open space, good weather...lots of kids around. Lil Bun had fun running around, playing with ball. He loves playing with ball, any kind football, volleyball, tennis ball...anything which rolls really. He automatically gets pulled towards them, and so proud his dad is seeing him playing with football. Ofcourse why wouldn't he be, his son living his dream !  

Lil Bun having fun.

So that's our lives....life is busy, and life is fun, that's life as it goes on...

Life in a Blur, and still so good.

Remember those times when you feel like you are living  life out of a book.

And times when you are living life in a blur.

That's what happening to my life. I don't even know if i am living it or it is living by itself.

You love to write (You means me here), everything you come across you promise yourself that you will write about it, and then it just blurs out.

So much happened in the time that lapsed. 

Lil Bun turned one end of the May. Past months he faced ear infections (twice) and had a sick period but look at him now is no more a baby, almost walking. Almost because that is as long as he doesn't know he is, as soon as he realizes he is walking on his own he comes and holds your hand. So now i am finding tricks to make him more absent minded so that he doesn't realise he is walking. Does it make sense to you? You believe and try to picture everything i say, don't you? I know. hehe 

Also I am back to love cooking, (and take pictures of it like some food maniac so that can blog about it, and then keep prostrating ! Sigh). Have so much lined up, i will get back to it. I promise. Meanwhile seriously want to get my blogs new look and feel, but i do not know how and love of my life is too busy now a days to help me out. So basically i am just waiting for some miracle to happen.

Have been feeling good to fit in old cloths ( not "old" old, but those from pre-pregnancy) but at the same time very well aware that still not back at what i used to be. But what does it matter as long as you feel comfortable under your skin. And let's face it i am not the same anymore inside out. I am a mom of a little miracle of our lives that indeed changed us and our lives inside out.  

If you don't feel good in a dress, don't buy it. If that dress is too tight for you, just notch up a number and go for another dress, as long as you feel good and you are comfortable.

Life is too short to be worried, to take stress and to worry about what other people think about you or they like you or not. 

Now that we are catching up on time lapsed inbetween, let me admit.... ahem, I also got a year older (and wiser, hopefully) this April.  It must be wiser to overcome obsession of FaceBook for say. But i am still there to keep a check on you that you don't do anything ridiculously naughty. Ohh did i just say that? What i really wanted to say is don't care for people thinking it is because of side-effect of having a baby which makes you to have not enough time. It might be true at times, but it will never be true to the core for always. Having him in our lives just taught us that there are more important things in life than living a virtual life, picturing a perfect life and eyeing other picture-perfect lives. 

I don't think being fake, jealous, judgmental or to be around such negative auroras was going to do any good to me. Instead of pretending why can't i just be what i feel like, why can't i just say what i think about.  And who cares seriously, well i know we all do care at one point or other but i mean isn't it good that you get to miss me and long to see me, just so that you can go being your bitchy/ judging self? haha But i like the part that you long to see me, i will ignore the rest ! I am in a good mood you see?  

Just my 2 cent of advise, having an awesome life in real is more important than having an awesome virtual life. Virtual life can wait, real life won't.

See i told you, i am getting wiser with age. Now don't roll those eyes, okay?

So back to so much happened...

I am really happy as after about one year i managed to be back at reading. Reading is something i always loved since i was a kid. Haven't be reading any intellectual stuff really if you ask me. Just some chic lits from Jill Mansell, just because i liked one of hers and ended up ordering so many from her. Light, and very chic. And with characters you can relate and can take you back to those bright dreamy days of hopeless romance your eyes sparkled with, once upon a time. I feel happy. All books end happy. Perfect. I love happy endings. Eventhough it doesn't make any sense in the real world still i do, I am a girl you see.

We managed to take some vacations. I don't remember if i mentioned before but i had such high hopes from Easter holidays. But i ended up cancelling and re-scheduling bookings to May because of weather (too much rain, too cold, snow in spring, seriously?) and health of my lil Bun. 

But the weather started getting better, and so did everything around us. We made a trial trip to small beautiful town of Belgium "Kortrijk" and a beautiful city from France "Lille" and of april. It was great, eventhough i was sick at the time, i felt great. We were out, breathing fresh air, bathing in sun, eating good food. Happy. Good.

And we made my re-scheduled trip from march in May. We been to Malta. Honestly it was nothing compared to what i had expected out of it. 

All I thought about was beaches, sun and warmth. And not to forget convenience of speaking english. But it ended up surprising me with much more than that it has to offer. Whether it was having a stroll in it's capital Valletta, or getting lost in time capsule in old city Mdina, or just simply standing there overlooking the Bastions ! It was perfect. 

We explored almost whole island and our lil Bun behaved himself like a pro-traveller. So proud of him. And so happy that he inherited liking for travelling from his parents.  He was so happy to be out, to enjoy the freedom of playing in open air, to stand at the balcony and gaze at sea while the breeze plays with his face. He smiled, he laughed and we all felt utterly happy. 

So what else can i say, just that Life is good. Thanks for everything that i am. And thanks for accepting me as i am. You didn't mean to me this much without a reason. Yes i mean you, you !

Hi Five.

As you know (because i mentioned in my last post !?!?), we celebrated 5 years of marital bliss this weekend. God time flies and thing is that it doesn't look like...it feels like it was just yesterday! It was funny to remember whole week what were we doing that time exactly 5 years back.

I could remember, aaah i was putting henna at this time and aah you were doing your last minute shopping for shoes! Good old memories.

What we wanted to do for celebrating 5 years was to get married again, with each other. But it didn't happen. So we live with our first marriage, with each other.

On a serious note, nothing much really as our lil Bun was sick last week. He was all good, playing happily when my sister was here. And same night that she went back he felt warm. I ignored it thinking it might be just a bit warm. Then as the day progressed i got a call at work that he is sick with high fevers. I went home, gave him paracetamol and came back to work thinking that should work. But it didn't. Another call and we were running home. We took him to hospital, which served as only to console ourselves.

Next day same, i left from work mid-day after a phone call on his condition and ended up staying home with him rest of the week. 

You can call it a coincidence and i think it as our anniversary gift that he didn't have fever that night and he managed to play whole day so we could go out for an anniversary dinner.

As we had been thinking about all the restaurants, our usual, and how boring it is becoming with lack of novelty; we decided to try a new restaurant. And it was a good change; only that their two vegetarian dishes named differently but ended up looking the same. On name of sautéed vegetables they had only choisam. So two plates full of them, (aaah that reminds me of writing a review for this restaurant before i forget about it) but thing is it actually tasted good. So no complains. Their starters were delicious and sauce accompanying was really spicy, yes spicy even for me who loves spicy food! We ended dinner selecting a surprise dessert, which was good as well. Some stuffed dumplings with rice flours, accompanied by coconut sauce and fresh fruits. 

There was one more thing on the menu that brought us smiles and cheered us up more. 

A cocktail.

And it was called "Hot Mama" ;-)

Certainly made this new mama feel hot ;-)

P.S. As some of you might be wondering about that cocktail, on menu it read "Mix van cachacha, limoen, verse gember en spaanse pepers voor een verassende bite." 

(Translation: Mix of cachacha, lime, fresh ginger and chilies for a surprising bite. However i think Cachacha should be "Cachaça" but whatever!)

Fine Nine.

We are past middle of the working week and i can see weekend already! Cannot wait, as we will be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary this weekend. No big plans, nothing special, just some lovely family time.

We had my sister and her husband visiting us this past weekend, so home felt more like home with the buzz. Lil Bun had a good time with all the pampering and attention. I was keen to see whether he remembers her aunt from his India visit and how he reacts. He is a champ, didn't react any different or strange. He acted as if he knew her well and didn't feel stranger to her at all. However he tried all the tactics to gain his uncle's attention (as he saw and met him for the first time), from staring to smiling to shouting. And he even tried to get hold of his nose...huh huh!

While they were here we visited CentrO mall in Oberhausen, Germany together. It is advertised as the biggest mall of Europe but we didn't feel it upto the hype. And there is no way it can be the biggest. But what do i know.

I felt we have better malls in The Netherlands... aah and don't get me started on shopping malls in France! We normally like food in Germany, but food we got there in food court was pathetic, not many vegetarian options and what we got we couldn't even get started on it so forget finishing it !

Anyway now that we are done with disappointed part, i liked free parking, and enough of them. Ohh and i liked Gilly Hicks store. Very warm, cosy and summer feeling! Absolutely delight. Loved it.

Ok let me just google a picture for you... so here you go. Now you see what summer feeling was i talking about? It was fun to walk in all the rooms, and not to forget payment counter look and feel. 

Gilly Hicks at CentrO, Germany

Ohh and did i mention our lil Bun turned 9 months this weekend? So 3 quarters gone! It was a special week as we celebrated 9 years of knowing each other and being together and 9 months of having our lil Bun in our hands.

I baked a special pizza to celebrate it. Why pizza? Well because it has a special place in our hearts! ;-) Some good old memories!

Mumbling me.

There are some days when you just look outside window, see some long lying dried yellow-brown leaves flying in a gust of wind and your mind just goes up, up and up.

You wonder what you are doing with your life, what you really want to do with your life. You sip some warm green tea from your mug and see the rays of sun severing through tree branches.

A dog walking on a street and a person trying to make up to him chained with the dog.

Birds are chirping, playing, flying.

And you sit there with that pen in your hand.

Don't know how long it had been.

You don't need to know.

Mystery Land

Sometimes it is not a topic you want to write about, it is just a strong feeling from within that you want to write, you want to share...no matter what.

And whenever i write, I am not trying to write something amazing or something different, i am just trying to freeze this moment, so that i can re-live it here in my words whenever i wish.

It is annoying when people try to judge you from what you write and sometimes all they do is sneaking trying to keep count of your life, but same time trying not to acknowledge it.

Then one day there comes a remark, ohhh ya THAT, right?  Read on your blog. But you never leave your foot-print or thoughts for me to ponder upon!

They come, they read, they ponder upon it and leave.

And sometimes you hear on your back, Ohh what's so great about her writing!

Anyone can write such things.

I know.

I agree.

I am what i feel.

I am what i write.

I write what i feel.

I might not be an excellent writer but i want to remember how these wonderful moments of my life made me feel. So there.

Anyway on a side note, on this side of planet, it is a nice pleasant day today. Days are getting longer, today was a bright sunny morning, still cold but good day.

We visited one of our friends this weekend, and they have a daughter almost same age as lil Bun. It is really interesting to see how they try to interact. It is also amazing that gender specific behaviors and interests they display from such an early age. A way before they might know difference of  girl and boy.

These babies are so cute, at times behaves like little devils and yet cute!

On person front, I have been going through mixed emotions lately, mainly my hormones i guess.

When i see lil Bun i feel extremely happy, when i put him to bed and bid a good night, i feel my heart crying. I do not know why!

May be 'coz i already miss him!

Or may be i just feel sad that i have to stay away from him for so much of time! But that is life.

So tell me about you, how have you been?

A Special Valentines' Day to all !

This valentines' day is special and perfect. Of course it has to be as i have two valentines this time.

Celebrations might not be the same as it used to be, but i have never felt so loved ever before in my life.

Our lil Bun has been daddy's boy from the start. At the hint of his papa's voice he jumps and now suddenly he is giving me all the attentions of the world! Could i be happier! (May be he knows that it's valentine week, so thinks let me make mummy happy ?;-) )

It is amazing to see how he understands and knows when we are at home and runs towards us blabbering something which can be easily translated in "Ohh, here you are, didn't you know how much i missed you !! " 

I love the way he looks at me when i enter the home tired from work, he stops anything he has been busy doing and starts rushing towards me blabbering in his language. And all i can say is "i missed you too baby !!" He jumps in my hand and i shower him with kisses.

He makes us happy and he teaches us we do not need reasons to be happy, being together so much in love is reasons enough.

People say your world changes with the baby and things will never be the same again. That is true, things will not be same ever again, but would we ever want it to be the same? Never Ever. We will never want THIS to change. 

From what we kept hearing it seemed it is natural that our relationship as a couple will change, and it did but it only did for good, it got stronger and better.

I am proud of being married to him; he loves both of us (me and lil Bun) with all our imperfections and makes sure new addition in our lives doesn't mean things change between us (me and him). 

When having his favorite baguettes with aioli, if there is last piece left then in stead of gulping it he asks me to take it and if i deny then he still insists and leaves me half of it ! 

Whenever we manage to go out for our 'alone' time (don't know how can it be alone with two of us together but cannot think in my current sleepy state how to put it otherwise), he doesn't make fuss about missing ten mins of his favorite Man.Utd. vs Real Madrid game. ( That doesn't mean he didn't run in front of tv even before parking car properly or didn't ask if i could park for him ! ) 

If one who can be lacking then it can only be me at times but never him. 

He is never demanding and he won't ever miss adding "and to you too" looking at me, every time he kisses lil Bun mumbling love you babbyyyy. :-)

That's our loving man.

Touchwood.

So I feel blessed. And we feel complete. 

That's to us, and to you all a very Happy Valentines' day.

I don't think i will manage baking a cake this time, but here is one that i did on one of those times.

Valentine Cake

Recipe... Here.

Lil Bun's Diary # 2, Being Naughty !

There is no formula or date on how and when these little bunnies become little monkeys.

I had a surprise in store this weekend, a shock that this little man can think ahead and can infer the implications.

Our lil Bun has always been fond of greens, not to eat but to hold, break and play with. When he was a little baby, he will be fascinated with plants and leaves and will try to catch it every time we pass by with him in hand.

Now he runs in his walker and crawls on his legs/ feet, he got more freedom to explore so what else can he ask for!

Yesterday i was in the kitchen and as i needed to do something, i put him in his walker for those few minutes. Then suddenly i notice there is no running around, crashing in furniture sound. Everything went quiet (like in those suspense movies before a big wooooosh).

I called his name and no response. 

I walk out of kitchen looking for him and what do i see, he is hiding in a passage. As I walk further near to him I see he is actually eating a leave from the plant standing there quietly. 

Me: Hey what are you doing here??? 

He looks up at me, a naughty smile appears on his face and next moment he starts running... not towards me but in the opposite direction so that mummy can't catch him!

I was amazed, surprised, puzzled all at the same time! 

How did he know that he can hide and do things we say not to do?

When i approached he inferred that he needs to run away if he wanted to keep eating that leaf in his hand!

And he didn't forget to pass me on that heart-melting sweet naughty smile, after which mummy can only smile and can't be angry on lil Bun!

Ohh boy!

Really?

My lil Bun is growing and growing naughtier!

Lil Bun is now 8 and 1/2 months old.

Lil Bun's Diary # 1, Being Smart !

My lil Bun is becoming smarter day by day (which he should as he grows otherwise this mamma will be worried). 
He can crawl now, mimics dadddieee apart from his usual bababa dadadada gaga papapa (but no maa or mama or mamma...sob sob), stands up holding on corners of whatever height he can get hold of and what not. (i know i will find out soon on that what not !) 

Anyway so now with this active Lil Bun, we finally lowered his bed to be on safer side last week. But before we did it, i let him play, sit, stand in his bed (of course under my supervision) and happy he was! He could hold on his bed, stand and look outside window, how nice! 

We still need to buy those safety gates for stairs though, soon...soon.

Yesterday i entered the home after work and he was playing in the hall. He saw me, smiled and immediately started running crawling towards me. You would have seen his speed and his face full of excitement and smiles. These are the moments that makes me feel loved, blessed and worth all the pains of parenting if there are any. touchwood.

He is growing up so fast, some things he does really surprises me. I was amazed this weekend when skypeing with my parents. He wanted to get hold of laptop so that he can press some keys and can shut it close and then open ( his favorite pass time now a days with doors, windows or anything which can be opened and closed).

I kept moving laptop out of his reach. He would crawl, reach there and extend his hands and just then i will pick it up and put it in other direction for him to crawl back.
After a few times he got tired, sat there, thought something and then showed disinterested in laptop. Then a moment later he targeted something which was lying near laptop. While crawling there not even once he looked at laptop and kept his eyes focused. Then he reaches there, looks up, takes a quick turn, smiles and jumps on laptop (must be thinking gottcha). Aaah smart.

But i am his mom. I knew it better; it was gone from there already. Huh.

Gosh, kids these days are smart!

Lil Bun is now 8 Months, 2 weeks.

A quick hello from a DizzyLand.

After my last post, i wanted to record how the actual flight went. But things haven't been that good lately, me being sick when we flew back and then Lil Bun being sick.

It feels like whole world has been up side down. Our lil Bun, who had been sleeping in his own room and bed from the birth, is not doing that more than half a night. First it was teething, waking him up crying at middle of night, and then it is fever and vomiting.

So with that after a few visits to his room, when our sleepy heads can take it no further, we just bring him with us to make it easy for us to keep a watch on him. 

I know that might not be the way it should be, but frankly i do not care. We co-slept with our parents till the time came when we fancied our own room with the interior the way we want, and we did turn out alright. 

Also i keep feeling i am going to miss these days soon when i can just snuggle him and shower him with kisses at my hearts content. Soon he will be running away saying mom, stop it. And soon he will want to go for night-over at his friends. So let me have him, let me enjoy him right now.

Ohh but that was not i was writing about, ya flight. Well while going, it made me cry, and while coming back i was sick and still we smiled!

So a vast vast vast difference. I had him in my hand for almost 10 hours, My hurting back couldn't take it any more,poor thing was tired than he had ever been before. So we both cried. At airport. I have never seen him crying that much ever before. I am happy it is over.

May be it was inconvenient flying hours and inexperienced we. Our first experience with him on a long flight and yet to learn how to handle him on trips. But we knew better while on the way back after being with him 24*7 for full 5 weeks. Also the flight was in the morning and hence better. He could sleep and was in a better mood. So that gives us enough courage to start getting back to our traveling spree and plan more vacations, only if out pocket allows! 

So let's see, what's in store for us. Something sweet, something breezy, something relaxing, something bright and sunny. Let's see.

Being a mom !

I have been busy again, for well known reasons!

If I have to summarize this new experience or new phase of life in a few words i would say "you can never IMAGINE the life, emotions and love you experience with a baby in your life, you only know when you have one."

I often heard that you cannot imagine your life with a baby until you have one and you cannot imagine your life without  them once you have them. Now i know better what it meant. 

Aaah and now that i am back to work talking in language of Projects - This will be the most difficult, most challenging and most satisfying project you will ever handle, if you manage this project well, there won't be any other project in the world which you cannot manage! 

We have evolved from what we were last year. We thought we had it all figured out, we knew what it means to love someone, to care for someone but as soon as our Little Bunny arrived in our lives it all seemed naive.

We always liked babies but it is different when it is your own. You know their flaws and still you cannot help being blind and behaving as they rightly say for parents the most perfect and beautiful baby in the world is their own. 

I didn't know i was capable of loving someone with any more intensity than i already did. However that feeling didn't come over the night.  

For Ashu, it was a love at first sight, i saw it in his eyes when he saw our lil Bun for the first time in operation room and he went speechless. He stood there staring at him murmuring something like Lopa you should see this; it is the most incredible thing and the most beautiful baby!

I was more like yes we have a baby and it took me some time to sink it in that this little baby was really inside me all this time. I even missed him in my belly whenever i touched it and i didn't get a kick back in response!

As days passed, i could feel the emotions building up (which might be hormones actually!) and the love. 

Now that i am back at work there stands my insecurities about leaving him at day care, about not being able to spend enough time with him and then losing sleep on what if he wouldn't recognize me as his mom as he hardly sees me during whole day!

I know i shouldn't worry and it all falls in place, but now i can see how motherhood and worrying over small things go hand in hand. Now i understand better why our mom's always keep worrying about us.

Yup, i have it all figured out.... They are side-effects of being a mom!