Is it Good or Bad?

There are many moments in our lives which make us wonder how you should feel; happy, sad, ecstatic, bad, happy, confused?  

It's not as if i didn't notice them before but it comes more on face now that we have lil Bun in our lives.

Some 2-3 months back lil Bun suddenly started loving vacuuming. I don't remember if i already wrote it but he used to be not bothered by vacuum cleaners as a baby, then there came a phase when he started getting scared and at times angry on vacuum clear. We tried to soothe him by showing him it was okay and letting him touch it. We showed him how it works and nothing to be scared of, yeah only to face his addiction towards it. 
Now every evening he bangs doors of store room so that he can have vacuum cleaner. He starts cleaning, and when he is tired he wants us to clean. Now it's a good thing... right? to have a clean house? But wait did i tell you that you are not suppose to switch it off even when he moves on mopping from vacuuming. Also you are not allowed to stop vacuuming while he supervises you. Now repeat this 5 times a day. You got the picture.

This video was taken in his initial days, in the morning, still in his pyjamas,  now he is even better trained. Ohh god i need to make a latest video for memory.

I don't know from where he got this OCD, but now that's our boy ! We were so amazed when we saw him picking up any wrapper or piece of junk from the floor and heading straight to garbage bin. We were so proud. But soon he realized how proud we were so decided to out do himself by throwing away anything on the floor; things simply he didn't want that moment or things he thought suits more in dustbin ! You see?

Then there was one other day, which has nothing to do with Lil Bun (or may be he has) but i was just out of my gym, in my gym cloths and with a bag pack when two young handsome boys approaches me for some marketing. And they start with if i live alone or with my parents? What? Do i look like a, don't know what ! But may be i still look young (my optimism speaking). haha
On the serious note i blame that on difficulty in judging age of people from foreign origine, that makes more sense. 

There are so many such moments that come and go, adding spices in our lives. Now look at lots of my friends, and you (yes you) who read me ... follow my blog, or my recipes, or my paintings but i never come to know about it. Then suddenly one day one of you make my day dropping a line on how much you like what i do. That obviously makes my day. All you secret admirers (if any left there hidden) listening there?

You see.... life is full of those moment, you do not know whether it's good or bad, it's a complement or insult in disguise, to be happy or to be sad. So what do we do? Well, we pick up the brighter side, chose to smile, feel happy and make our day brighter, that's what we do.

Now tell me about your confusingly happy moment and make my day even more brighter, full of smiles ! :-)

Here i am, back.

After my big flop show on trying hands at blogging marathon, many times i sat down with mind full of thoughts to pen down....but as soon as i started writing i felt i need an explanation to all, a good enough one, for failing to write. So i thought and thought some more.

Home situation with no baby-sitter?
My Lil Bun's teething phase ?
Our summer vacation, which we finally managed, and visited my sister.

Ohh did i tell you about it and that how much Lil Bun loved it? He loved running in open back yard, he watered the herbs, he fed salad to chickens, he enjoyed the swings and loved the tree-house. It was so nice to see him happy and we were so happy to manage some family time together.

Only thing he didn't eat much... may be it was over-whelming everything new stage, his teething stage, or not having his dinner chair around...we could not figure it out. Then he fell sick the week following we were back and after that things have approved and he is working on getting his rosy cheeks back, almost there :-)

So you get the picture. And also last but not the least...my laziness and guilt of quitting marathon so abruptly and then not being able to drop by to say how shameful i felt about it.
But finally i have braved and i am here, writing once again.

One more thing that i am trying to get back once again is painting, sorry not painting actually but sketching. I did a lot while in school and haven't much lately so i thought why not !
Also trying to get back to cooking and trying new things.
Now let's hope i don't fall of this bandwagon this time.

Wish me luck.

Ohh and yes, also my first Karwa Chauth this year. Not first after the marriage but first that i decided to celebrate.

Happy KarwaChauth all lovely people out there celebrating.

Highs and Lows of last year - Day 9

Trying to catch up with my Blog Marathon :-)

Topic for Day 9: Highs and Lows of last year.

This one is easier. Last year being 2012, one of the life changing ones for us.

Highs :

2012 January - My sister's marriage....happy for her dream to come true... international couple getting married in an Indian setting. Love without boundaries, beyond the countries, cultures, religions, and one of the most fun weddings i attended till date. 

2012 May - We got lil bun in our lives. First time we saw him, hold him and kissed his delicate cheeks. Lots of joys and different perspective to our lives that he brought. 

2012 May to August - I got to stay with my mum for almost 3 months continuously after more than 10 years ! Same with dad, 4 weeks together after 10 years !

Lows:

2012 January - Spending 2 days in ICU during January'2012 while in india. Less than a week to go to my baby shower, less than two weeks before my sister's wedding. Worried faces all around. Not knowing what happened, waking up in hospital and worrying if this might have affected lil Bun inside me.

2012 August - When my parents left to go back home in August'12, i cried for 2-3 continuous days. 

2012 August - September - When i had to leave lil Bun in kindergarden and start back at work.

Quite an eventful year we had, 2012 we will never forget you :-)

By the way how was it for you?

Lil Bun's Diary # 3, Small Wonders !

I keep trying to remember that i need to document small things that lil Bun surprises us with, but somehow time just runs short.  But here i am trying to do so once again.

Lil Bun has become so active now a days that keeps us on toes all the time.`

He wants to run all the time, as soon as we enter the house he runs towards us, holds our finger and pulls us outside door, yes it's time to go out. Wouldn't budge from his stand until we take him out. He loves to walk. We get tired but he keep going on.

Lil Bun surprised me the other day, he spotted a small piece of polythene, picked up the junk and before we wonder what he was upto and before i say don't try to put that in mouth he was standing there beside garbage bin, trying to open it so that he can throw it in that. Respect !!

He tries to mimic us. He sees me combing my hair, he takes comb from me and tries to comb his own hair. I brush his teeth, then he wants to brush mine. I feed him with spoon, he wants to feed me back. I dry his face with towel, then he smiles and takes towel from my hand to dry my face with it. It's like a game. Fun.

We didn't give him chocolates, sweets, cakes until he turned one, then we though he can taste it now. Initially he didn't like it that much, may be he didn't have a taste for it yet. And then to our surprise suddenly he loves it now!!!

He knows where the chocolates are, the other day he climbed the couch and reached it. Opened the wrapper (as good as he could ofcourse, half torn kind) and ate it. When I spotted him and went to him, before i ask what he was upto he bribed mom with a bite of chocolate. hmm. Trouble.

Last weekend we been to a birthday party in a park. It was so much fun. Open space, good weather...lots of kids around. Lil Bun had fun running around, playing with ball. He loves playing with ball, any kind football, volleyball, tennis ball...anything which rolls really. He automatically gets pulled towards them, and so proud his dad is seeing him playing with football. Ofcourse why wouldn't he be, his son living his dream !  

Lil Bun having fun.

So that's our lives....life is busy, and life is fun, that's life as it goes on...

Weekend Getaway - Oostende, Belgium

When we moved to Europe some years back, weekend getaways used to be our favorite. Take a day or two free from work, combine it with a weekend and just drive or fly. 

After our lil Bun, we felt like we have grown out of it and needed to settle down, we started preferring those relaxing getaways where you need minimum a week and are not rushing everywhere. Now that our lil Bun is past one, and we see how much he loves outings, it seems like we are getting back at our search of weekend getaway places. 

Thing is how many times you want to go to the same place again and again? We have been longing for a change of scenery past weeks and looking at weather last weekend, that is nice and sunny, we decided it was time for much deserved break.

So there started again the same debate, where to?

Ostend Beach front

We were almost certain we will end up driving to our all time favorite Paris, but there that question - how many times do you want to go to same place again and again? Like we have been there million times, so there won't be much sight seeing that we would be very much interested in. And what more, even our lil Bun has been there.

Then suddenly i remembered a name of a place that i came across sometime back but had been waiting for warmer days. 

So that's where we went. To "Oostende" (or Ostend) in Belgium. 

Wapenplein, Ostende's main square

We drove off like we always do, without much of a plan and last minute decisions with a few things in bag and a camera.

What we didn't realize was that it was a nice sunny weekend after such a long time, so it was as if everyone on this side of world was out there, having some vitamin D. More to that school vacations in Belgium just started. And everything in Oostende and in peripheral of 40kms was fully booked !

Nevertheless, none of that dampened our spirits and we did end up having nice time anyway.

Bell Tower at Wapenplein, Ostende's main square.

We were amazed, there were so many babies and strollers all around and not to forget so many dogs ! No wonder lil Bun had gala time. He loved walking, running, shouting with excitement at other kids and dogs. At times he would just pull our hand and wouldn't budge because he wants to go behind that dog and not where we were heading to. 

He loved looking other kids, even kids-at-heart bigger kids playing at beach. 

There were many kids riding those cycles where you lie down on your back, don't know name of that one, but lil Bun loved to look at that and was excited seeing kids riding them. 

People partying on big cycles with music and beer. Total fun.

From there we went to Brugge, one of our all time favorite. It was nice to remember good old times that we had spent there,during our previous visit, and certainly how well we still remembered those streets. 

Museumschip on the backdrop.

So that was it. Our weekend refreshing get-away. 

However before we drove back, we did promise ourselves to be back there again some day, just to do nothing and lie down there at the beach. Bliss !

Life in a Blur, and still so good.

Remember those times when you feel like you are living  life out of a book.

And times when you are living life in a blur.

That's what happening to my life. I don't even know if i am living it or it is living by itself.

You love to write (You means me here), everything you come across you promise yourself that you will write about it, and then it just blurs out.

So much happened in the time that lapsed. 

Lil Bun turned one end of the May. Past months he faced ear infections (twice) and had a sick period but look at him now is no more a baby, almost walking. Almost because that is as long as he doesn't know he is, as soon as he realizes he is walking on his own he comes and holds your hand. So now i am finding tricks to make him more absent minded so that he doesn't realise he is walking. Does it make sense to you? You believe and try to picture everything i say, don't you? I know. hehe 

Also I am back to love cooking, (and take pictures of it like some food maniac so that can blog about it, and then keep prostrating ! Sigh). Have so much lined up, i will get back to it. I promise. Meanwhile seriously want to get my blogs new look and feel, but i do not know how and love of my life is too busy now a days to help me out. So basically i am just waiting for some miracle to happen.

Have been feeling good to fit in old cloths ( not "old" old, but those from pre-pregnancy) but at the same time very well aware that still not back at what i used to be. But what does it matter as long as you feel comfortable under your skin. And let's face it i am not the same anymore inside out. I am a mom of a little miracle of our lives that indeed changed us and our lives inside out.  

If you don't feel good in a dress, don't buy it. If that dress is too tight for you, just notch up a number and go for another dress, as long as you feel good and you are comfortable.

Life is too short to be worried, to take stress and to worry about what other people think about you or they like you or not. 

Now that we are catching up on time lapsed inbetween, let me admit.... ahem, I also got a year older (and wiser, hopefully) this April.  It must be wiser to overcome obsession of FaceBook for say. But i am still there to keep a check on you that you don't do anything ridiculously naughty. Ohh did i just say that? What i really wanted to say is don't care for people thinking it is because of side-effect of having a baby which makes you to have not enough time. It might be true at times, but it will never be true to the core for always. Having him in our lives just taught us that there are more important things in life than living a virtual life, picturing a perfect life and eyeing other picture-perfect lives. 

I don't think being fake, jealous, judgmental or to be around such negative auroras was going to do any good to me. Instead of pretending why can't i just be what i feel like, why can't i just say what i think about.  And who cares seriously, well i know we all do care at one point or other but i mean isn't it good that you get to miss me and long to see me, just so that you can go being your bitchy/ judging self? haha But i like the part that you long to see me, i will ignore the rest ! I am in a good mood you see?  

Just my 2 cent of advise, having an awesome life in real is more important than having an awesome virtual life. Virtual life can wait, real life won't.

See i told you, i am getting wiser with age. Now don't roll those eyes, okay?

So back to so much happened...

I am really happy as after about one year i managed to be back at reading. Reading is something i always loved since i was a kid. Haven't be reading any intellectual stuff really if you ask me. Just some chic lits from Jill Mansell, just because i liked one of hers and ended up ordering so many from her. Light, and very chic. And with characters you can relate and can take you back to those bright dreamy days of hopeless romance your eyes sparkled with, once upon a time. I feel happy. All books end happy. Perfect. I love happy endings. Eventhough it doesn't make any sense in the real world still i do, I am a girl you see.

We managed to take some vacations. I don't remember if i mentioned before but i had such high hopes from Easter holidays. But i ended up cancelling and re-scheduling bookings to May because of weather (too much rain, too cold, snow in spring, seriously?) and health of my lil Bun. 

But the weather started getting better, and so did everything around us. We made a trial trip to small beautiful town of Belgium "Kortrijk" and a beautiful city from France "Lille" and of april. It was great, eventhough i was sick at the time, i felt great. We were out, breathing fresh air, bathing in sun, eating good food. Happy. Good.

And we made my re-scheduled trip from march in May. We been to Malta. Honestly it was nothing compared to what i had expected out of it. 

All I thought about was beaches, sun and warmth. And not to forget convenience of speaking english. But it ended up surprising me with much more than that it has to offer. Whether it was having a stroll in it's capital Valletta, or getting lost in time capsule in old city Mdina, or just simply standing there overlooking the Bastions ! It was perfect. 

We explored almost whole island and our lil Bun behaved himself like a pro-traveller. So proud of him. And so happy that he inherited liking for travelling from his parents.  He was so happy to be out, to enjoy the freedom of playing in open air, to stand at the balcony and gaze at sea while the breeze plays with his face. He smiled, he laughed and we all felt utterly happy. 

So what else can i say, just that Life is good. Thanks for everything that i am. And thanks for accepting me as i am. You didn't mean to me this much without a reason. Yes i mean you, you !

Hi Five.

As you know (because i mentioned in my last post !?!?), we celebrated 5 years of marital bliss this weekend. God time flies and thing is that it doesn't look like...it feels like it was just yesterday! It was funny to remember whole week what were we doing that time exactly 5 years back.

I could remember, aaah i was putting henna at this time and aah you were doing your last minute shopping for shoes! Good old memories.

What we wanted to do for celebrating 5 years was to get married again, with each other. But it didn't happen. So we live with our first marriage, with each other.

On a serious note, nothing much really as our lil Bun was sick last week. He was all good, playing happily when my sister was here. And same night that she went back he felt warm. I ignored it thinking it might be just a bit warm. Then as the day progressed i got a call at work that he is sick with high fevers. I went home, gave him paracetamol and came back to work thinking that should work. But it didn't. Another call and we were running home. We took him to hospital, which served as only to console ourselves.

Next day same, i left from work mid-day after a phone call on his condition and ended up staying home with him rest of the week. 

You can call it a coincidence and i think it as our anniversary gift that he didn't have fever that night and he managed to play whole day so we could go out for an anniversary dinner.

As we had been thinking about all the restaurants, our usual, and how boring it is becoming with lack of novelty; we decided to try a new restaurant. And it was a good change; only that their two vegetarian dishes named differently but ended up looking the same. On name of sautéed vegetables they had only choisam. So two plates full of them, (aaah that reminds me of writing a review for this restaurant before i forget about it) but thing is it actually tasted good. So no complains. Their starters were delicious and sauce accompanying was really spicy, yes spicy even for me who loves spicy food! We ended dinner selecting a surprise dessert, which was good as well. Some stuffed dumplings with rice flours, accompanied by coconut sauce and fresh fruits. 

There was one more thing on the menu that brought us smiles and cheered us up more. 

A cocktail.

And it was called "Hot Mama" ;-)

Certainly made this new mama feel hot ;-)

P.S. As some of you might be wondering about that cocktail, on menu it read "Mix van cachacha, limoen, verse gember en spaanse pepers voor een verassende bite." 

(Translation: Mix of cachacha, lime, fresh ginger and chilies for a surprising bite. However i think Cachacha should be "Cachaça" but whatever!)

Fine Nine.

We are past middle of the working week and i can see weekend already! Cannot wait, as we will be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary this weekend. No big plans, nothing special, just some lovely family time.

We had my sister and her husband visiting us this past weekend, so home felt more like home with the buzz. Lil Bun had a good time with all the pampering and attention. I was keen to see whether he remembers her aunt from his India visit and how he reacts. He is a champ, didn't react any different or strange. He acted as if he knew her well and didn't feel stranger to her at all. However he tried all the tactics to gain his uncle's attention (as he saw and met him for the first time), from staring to smiling to shouting. And he even tried to get hold of his nose...huh huh!

While they were here we visited CentrO mall in Oberhausen, Germany together. It is advertised as the biggest mall of Europe but we didn't feel it upto the hype. And there is no way it can be the biggest. But what do i know.

I felt we have better malls in The Netherlands... aah and don't get me started on shopping malls in France! We normally like food in Germany, but food we got there in food court was pathetic, not many vegetarian options and what we got we couldn't even get started on it so forget finishing it !

Anyway now that we are done with disappointed part, i liked free parking, and enough of them. Ohh and i liked Gilly Hicks store. Very warm, cosy and summer feeling! Absolutely delight. Loved it.

Ok let me just google a picture for you... so here you go. Now you see what summer feeling was i talking about? It was fun to walk in all the rooms, and not to forget payment counter look and feel. 

Gilly Hicks at CentrO, Germany

Ohh and did i mention our lil Bun turned 9 months this weekend? So 3 quarters gone! It was a special week as we celebrated 9 years of knowing each other and being together and 9 months of having our lil Bun in our hands.

I baked a special pizza to celebrate it. Why pizza? Well because it has a special place in our hearts! ;-) Some good old memories!

A Special Valentines' Day to all !

This valentines' day is special and perfect. Of course it has to be as i have two valentines this time.

Celebrations might not be the same as it used to be, but i have never felt so loved ever before in my life.

Our lil Bun has been daddy's boy from the start. At the hint of his papa's voice he jumps and now suddenly he is giving me all the attentions of the world! Could i be happier! (May be he knows that it's valentine week, so thinks let me make mummy happy ?;-) )

It is amazing to see how he understands and knows when we are at home and runs towards us blabbering something which can be easily translated in "Ohh, here you are, didn't you know how much i missed you !! " 

I love the way he looks at me when i enter the home tired from work, he stops anything he has been busy doing and starts rushing towards me blabbering in his language. And all i can say is "i missed you too baby !!" He jumps in my hand and i shower him with kisses.

He makes us happy and he teaches us we do not need reasons to be happy, being together so much in love is reasons enough.

People say your world changes with the baby and things will never be the same again. That is true, things will not be same ever again, but would we ever want it to be the same? Never Ever. We will never want THIS to change. 

From what we kept hearing it seemed it is natural that our relationship as a couple will change, and it did but it only did for good, it got stronger and better.

I am proud of being married to him; he loves both of us (me and lil Bun) with all our imperfections and makes sure new addition in our lives doesn't mean things change between us (me and him). 

When having his favorite baguettes with aioli, if there is last piece left then in stead of gulping it he asks me to take it and if i deny then he still insists and leaves me half of it ! 

Whenever we manage to go out for our 'alone' time (don't know how can it be alone with two of us together but cannot think in my current sleepy state how to put it otherwise), he doesn't make fuss about missing ten mins of his favorite Man.Utd. vs Real Madrid game. ( That doesn't mean he didn't run in front of tv even before parking car properly or didn't ask if i could park for him ! ) 

If one who can be lacking then it can only be me at times but never him. 

He is never demanding and he won't ever miss adding "and to you too" looking at me, every time he kisses lil Bun mumbling love you babbyyyy. :-)

That's our loving man.

Touchwood.

So I feel blessed. And we feel complete. 

That's to us, and to you all a very Happy Valentines' day.

I don't think i will manage baking a cake this time, but here is one that i did on one of those times.

Valentine Cake

Recipe... Here.

Lil Bun's Diary # 2, Being Naughty !

There is no formula or date on how and when these little bunnies become little monkeys.

I had a surprise in store this weekend, a shock that this little man can think ahead and can infer the implications.

Our lil Bun has always been fond of greens, not to eat but to hold, break and play with. When he was a little baby, he will be fascinated with plants and leaves and will try to catch it every time we pass by with him in hand.

Now he runs in his walker and crawls on his legs/ feet, he got more freedom to explore so what else can he ask for!

Yesterday i was in the kitchen and as i needed to do something, i put him in his walker for those few minutes. Then suddenly i notice there is no running around, crashing in furniture sound. Everything went quiet (like in those suspense movies before a big wooooosh).

I called his name and no response. 

I walk out of kitchen looking for him and what do i see, he is hiding in a passage. As I walk further near to him I see he is actually eating a leave from the plant standing there quietly. 

Me: Hey what are you doing here??? 

He looks up at me, a naughty smile appears on his face and next moment he starts running... not towards me but in the opposite direction so that mummy can't catch him!

I was amazed, surprised, puzzled all at the same time! 

How did he know that he can hide and do things we say not to do?

When i approached he inferred that he needs to run away if he wanted to keep eating that leaf in his hand!

And he didn't forget to pass me on that heart-melting sweet naughty smile, after which mummy can only smile and can't be angry on lil Bun!

Ohh boy!

Really?

My lil Bun is growing and growing naughtier!

Lil Bun is now 8 and 1/2 months old.

Lil Bun's Diary # 1, Being Smart !

My lil Bun is becoming smarter day by day (which he should as he grows otherwise this mamma will be worried). 
He can crawl now, mimics dadddieee apart from his usual bababa dadadada gaga papapa (but no maa or mama or mamma...sob sob), stands up holding on corners of whatever height he can get hold of and what not. (i know i will find out soon on that what not !) 

Anyway so now with this active Lil Bun, we finally lowered his bed to be on safer side last week. But before we did it, i let him play, sit, stand in his bed (of course under my supervision) and happy he was! He could hold on his bed, stand and look outside window, how nice! 

We still need to buy those safety gates for stairs though, soon...soon.

Yesterday i entered the home after work and he was playing in the hall. He saw me, smiled and immediately started running crawling towards me. You would have seen his speed and his face full of excitement and smiles. These are the moments that makes me feel loved, blessed and worth all the pains of parenting if there are any. touchwood.

He is growing up so fast, some things he does really surprises me. I was amazed this weekend when skypeing with my parents. He wanted to get hold of laptop so that he can press some keys and can shut it close and then open ( his favorite pass time now a days with doors, windows or anything which can be opened and closed).

I kept moving laptop out of his reach. He would crawl, reach there and extend his hands and just then i will pick it up and put it in other direction for him to crawl back.
After a few times he got tired, sat there, thought something and then showed disinterested in laptop. Then a moment later he targeted something which was lying near laptop. While crawling there not even once he looked at laptop and kept his eyes focused. Then he reaches there, looks up, takes a quick turn, smiles and jumps on laptop (must be thinking gottcha). Aaah smart.

But i am his mom. I knew it better; it was gone from there already. Huh.

Gosh, kids these days are smart!

Lil Bun is now 8 Months, 2 weeks.

A quick hello from a DizzyLand.

After my last post, i wanted to record how the actual flight went. But things haven't been that good lately, me being sick when we flew back and then Lil Bun being sick.

It feels like whole world has been up side down. Our lil Bun, who had been sleeping in his own room and bed from the birth, is not doing that more than half a night. First it was teething, waking him up crying at middle of night, and then it is fever and vomiting.

So with that after a few visits to his room, when our sleepy heads can take it no further, we just bring him with us to make it easy for us to keep a watch on him. 

I know that might not be the way it should be, but frankly i do not care. We co-slept with our parents till the time came when we fancied our own room with the interior the way we want, and we did turn out alright. 

Also i keep feeling i am going to miss these days soon when i can just snuggle him and shower him with kisses at my hearts content. Soon he will be running away saying mom, stop it. And soon he will want to go for night-over at his friends. So let me have him, let me enjoy him right now.

Ohh but that was not i was writing about, ya flight. Well while going, it made me cry, and while coming back i was sick and still we smiled!

So a vast vast vast difference. I had him in my hand for almost 10 hours, My hurting back couldn't take it any more,poor thing was tired than he had ever been before. So we both cried. At airport. I have never seen him crying that much ever before. I am happy it is over.

May be it was inconvenient flying hours and inexperienced we. Our first experience with him on a long flight and yet to learn how to handle him on trips. But we knew better while on the way back after being with him 24*7 for full 5 weeks. Also the flight was in the morning and hence better. He could sleep and was in a better mood. So that gives us enough courage to start getting back to our traveling spree and plan more vacations, only if out pocket allows! 

So let's see, what's in store for us. Something sweet, something breezy, something relaxing, something bright and sunny. Let's see.

Time flies, Lil Bun flies !

Now that I started writing, all i want to do is write, write, write. 
I realized that these days are too important and they are just flying away without me locking some feelings into words! 

While we are on "Flying", it reminds me of our little Bun's first flight to be; yes yes yes he is going to fly... 
... What can be nicer than flying for the first time to meet his big Indian family ! 
     ... Lil Bun is 6 months now; everyone has been longing to see him & hug him !!
          ... He will be attending a wedding for the first time, a big fat Indian wedding !!!

All smiles :o)

It's not like he didn't have any vacations so far, he had since he was just a few weeks old (his first international getaway was nearby, to Antwerp, when he turned one month old ! )but we kept it on ground TILL NOW. 
Mainly because it has been a fight to sort out all legal documents for our lil Bun so that he can travel. 
Passport took ages due to some birth certificate error which they would not inform us until we put it in for speed up after waiting for more than 3 months. But atleast then it went fast. In a week passport was ready, next week we applied for his visa/ residence permit and now it is ready in-time for us to make it to India !

We don't know about him but we are excited and at the same time overwhelmed thinking about everything and everyone together. 

I will be meeting my brother-in-law and sister-in-law first time after our wedding ! Now that is something. 
I will be seeing my 3.5 years old nephew for the first time! 
I will be meeting new generation generation babies from old friends !!
And hopefully we will catch up with some good comfort food that we have been missing over here, if our stomach allows! 

We do not know how it will be, how lil Bun will be, how will we manage and how much will he enjoy. But he will see, he will experience, he will learn and he will grow. We think.

√ / X ?

It has been an internal fight lately... i want to write but what's on my mind, what i want to write about, what i should be writing, what i should be sharing or not sharing remains a question to me.

It is a difficult phase when all you are going through or experiencing are things debatable on sharing front.

Today i was just surfing and started reading a few blogs. Beautifully shared lives and growing up.

And then i wondered why am i not writing enough?

Why did i start writing in the first place? Not for people to read, not for people to judge me, not to brag about things, not for people to know me better, not to make people jealous, not to get popular but solely to create memories and to be able to look back and re-live those words laid down over here.

What if someone says... look at her, she cannot think about anything but her baby!

What if people think i have turned my blog in to a craft blog or a whining blog or mamma blog or a baby blog!

Does it really matter?

If it worried me that much, "consequences of sharing", then i better be penning down thoughts secretly in a personal diary! 

Do i write for people to read or do i write for myself? I got to decide.

Will it be fair to me if i stop writing just because someone wouldn't want to read what i am writing about?

If not to anyone, i should be fair with myself.

When i feel that i want to catch this phase of my life, i want to wrap feelings and emotions i experience for the first time (or second time or again and again) wrap into words and put in safe for me to explore five years, ten years, fifteen years down the line.

I may remember today, i may not remember today... today might be a significant day making a life altering event of my life or it might be just another day which i wont remember after a few years but these feelings i put in words will stay, will live.

I want to share so many things and at the same time dilemma pops in whether it is appropriate to share some things. 

I want to say aloud how you made me feel, i want to share how lucky i am to have you, i want to tell you how my life change because of you. 

I want to shout from the rooftop each and every development on our little bunny front, each new mischief he did and each new milestone he passed but sometimes i am not sure if i should!

With Ashu, it was easy to ask if he was comfortable on what i share but with Lil Bun, i am not sure. I tried asking him, but whatever i ask him all he gave me is an adoring, heart melting smile with twinkles in his eyes! 

Ohh how much i love my little guy.

I don't know what individual he will end up like, he might not like his mum didn't maintain his anonymity. Or may be he will love reading what / how it used to be!

Anyway as you might have already noticed from my previous post that i decided to write, to share. At the same time in my tries to balance things out a bit my little one has become what he is to us "Our Little Bunny" (or lil Bun as i call him some times). 

When he grows up he will create his own identity and totally uptp him what he wants to be!

Bun got a bug !

Our little Bunny has been unwell lately, it is so difficult to see your little one suffer. They cannot express and you cannot make out what their cries mean.

And then to add in you get bombarded with hundreds of advises and being first time parents it only makes you more confused (i bet it will be the same for second time parents as well, just they may be able to act a bit stronger ).

When he first threw up i was filled with guilt as it happened after i let him taste a grape.  He had been eyeing while i was munching them. When he picked one up one and tried to taste it, i couldn't say no and instead helped him cutting it in a small piece. 

I loved him making faces as he tasted it for the first time, as juice oozed out from a grape. And then he gulped it, my mind raced on what was i suppose to do in the case he chocked up. But he managed to take it out on his own and very next moment a burping sound and all milk came out with a piece of grape. Another burping sound and a bigger threw up covered couch and my jeans. Cleaned him and thought it might be just his chocking reflexes which made him threw up.

After a while i prepared him his potato for dinner. He ate happily.

Then came time to go to bed and a bath before that. I gave him light exercise after short massage.  He didn't seem much in a mood so tried to make him smile. As i took him in my hand and carried towards bath, here comes a burp and before i realise i was covered in potato !

Again i blamed it on not having long time before dinner and massage / exercise.

I put him to bed and when we checked on him before going to bed there he was covered in wet clothes, seems he threw up in his sleep. Again cleaned him and as he woke up in the process put him on bed between us for until he feels sleepy again. Soon enough he was going back to sleep.  I decided to give him some milk to keep hi hydrated, he has been vomiting everything he has since evening.

I switched off the lights for him to drift off in sleep, and then i hear a burp. I switched on lights and next i see him throwing out in his sleep. Again took him off bed. cleaned him, cleaned bed and changed bedsheets.  Decided not to leave him alone in his room as he didn't seem fine. Put him in cradle beside our bed and same thing again, he threw up again. 

Now it is not that he was never unwell, he has been having his share of those  cold, runny nose moments but this was different. 
This was not coincidence but it was official that our little Bunny was sick.

SICK FOR THE FIRST TIME !!! 

(Well that is also a milestone, now he can only get stronger !)

Anyway but it didn't help my guilt which started to build up, can it be as i let him taste a grape, or to be precise a fraction of a grape?

Called the Google God and it says 8-10 months so it is early, some more guilt. 

Then followed doctor visits, (who by the way didn't react to my grape story ) making him to have diluted milk in small amount every 15 mins. It was difficult to give him small quantities as he seemed hungry at times and wouldn't want to give up on bottle and then try again in a few mins when he wouldn't want to have a bottle. Battle to keep him hydrated started. 

By the evening he started feeling warm, first check 38.4 degrees. That didn't make us worry thinking that can be as he is not feeling at his best. After two hours 39.2 degrees and then it made us worry. Gave him bath to bring the fever down, we managed to get him at 38.9 and it stayed so till next day. More doctor visits, more advises. More prescription, more diarrhea. That's how went our next few days.

So now i think that was some virus he picked up from day care or by the way he has been putting everything in his mouth lately.

Just when we were happy on how good he was doing, how good he was sleeping, we are back to sleepless nights. 

It seems he is getting better though, (better with fever, vomiting,  not better with back-to-normal sleeping patterns...sigh ! ) almost back to his normal diet. Also started back with fruit purees on name of solids. Diarrhea still there but atleast it is getting better. 

And now suddenly there appears red cheeks out of no where.

Is it an ear infection?

Is it a sign he is teething?

Is it a slapped Cheek disease?

And there starts a wondering cycle. Again.

He is 4 Months Already !

He is 4 months old already, Okay 4 months and 4 days to be precise. 

Time does fly !

At times, he looks clueless and blank, and then comes a moment when he is as engaging as ever. That might leave us in confusion but then there are some moments which makes us feel he does understand more than what we think they might be.

How else comes that heart-melting smile when we wish him good morning before picking him up in the morning?

How else he holds our hand so tight while going to sleep at night and even keeps checking if we are still there in between slipping in sound sleep?

How else he looks at us at the end of the room when we call him?

He might be just 4 months old, but when we look at him it sure feels like he has been in our lives for longer.

He might not know meaning of mummy and papa, but he does seem to be understanding difference between people he lives with, people he knows and people he doesn't know.

We thought he was not choosy of the company he keeps but he surprised us the day he turned 4 months old, but showing clear preferences on how he knows who is carrying him.

He started rolling over quite early, before he turned 3 months and really enjoys the view of world around him that way. 

We are trying to keep him away from watching TV atleast till he is a few months old, but as soon as he hears TV he will turn to watch it at 180  degree angle, leaving us no other option but to restrain ourselves from TV while he is awake. 

Same with Mac, when we bring him to chat with his grandparents, uncle and aunt on skype, he will go quiet and will just stare at screen. After a while he will get bored and start looking out of window ! No show off of the recent acquired skills for anyone...hmm.

So it is only for people who live with him to see that now he can hold things, he can aim for the toys hanging over his head, pull them, and bring anything he gets hold of to his mouth.

He even holds his bottle himself, and really shouts hard when he keeps pushing it out of his mouth instead in his excited mood and we try to help him keep it there. He wants to do so many things all at the same time and is too distracted to concentrate on any one thing.

He tries to imitate speech sounds when we talk with him but then later end up just shouting on his own, getting over-excited !

He laughs like anything, can do yoga by trying to perform Chakrasana, Halasana, Janusirsasana, Paścimottānāsana ... aah and not to forget Śavāsana ofcourse when he sleeps !

Wait Bun. is calling me.

Yes dear?

Mom, Is there any asana where you put your feet in your mouth, i have been doing that as well right?

Bun. darling, this is mom's blog and she writes (???) here so better you have your own blog for all the questions and things you want to say, ask and write.

Okay mom, wait and watch then... i will have my own diary and i will not let you even read it.

Arrrm, ummm. hmmm. 

Kids. :/

Haha, so that is all of him for now. 

With his mumma, me, things are going alright as well. Settled back in work-home routine. 
Also trying to revive my cooking blog, now that i am back to cook more regularly after mom went back India, let's see how well it  goes.

Good to be back doing so many things i enjoy and to be back to blogging. :-)