A Special Valentines' Day to all !

This valentines' day is special and perfect. Of course it has to be as i have two valentines this time.

Celebrations might not be the same as it used to be, but i have never felt so loved ever before in my life.

Our lil Bun has been daddy's boy from the start. At the hint of his papa's voice he jumps and now suddenly he is giving me all the attentions of the world! Could i be happier! (May be he knows that it's valentine week, so thinks let me make mummy happy ?;-) )

It is amazing to see how he understands and knows when we are at home and runs towards us blabbering something which can be easily translated in "Ohh, here you are, didn't you know how much i missed you !! " 

I love the way he looks at me when i enter the home tired from work, he stops anything he has been busy doing and starts rushing towards me blabbering in his language. And all i can say is "i missed you too baby !!" He jumps in my hand and i shower him with kisses.

He makes us happy and he teaches us we do not need reasons to be happy, being together so much in love is reasons enough.

People say your world changes with the baby and things will never be the same again. That is true, things will not be same ever again, but would we ever want it to be the same? Never Ever. We will never want THIS to change. 

From what we kept hearing it seemed it is natural that our relationship as a couple will change, and it did but it only did for good, it got stronger and better.

I am proud of being married to him; he loves both of us (me and lil Bun) with all our imperfections and makes sure new addition in our lives doesn't mean things change between us (me and him). 

When having his favorite baguettes with aioli, if there is last piece left then in stead of gulping it he asks me to take it and if i deny then he still insists and leaves me half of it ! 

Whenever we manage to go out for our 'alone' time (don't know how can it be alone with two of us together but cannot think in my current sleepy state how to put it otherwise), he doesn't make fuss about missing ten mins of his favorite Man.Utd. vs Real Madrid game. ( That doesn't mean he didn't run in front of tv even before parking car properly or didn't ask if i could park for him ! ) 

If one who can be lacking then it can only be me at times but never him. 

He is never demanding and he won't ever miss adding "and to you too" looking at me, every time he kisses lil Bun mumbling love you babbyyyy. :-)

That's our loving man.

Touchwood.

So I feel blessed. And we feel complete. 

That's to us, and to you all a very Happy Valentines' day.

I don't think i will manage baking a cake this time, but here is one that i did on one of those times.

Valentine Cake

Recipe... Here.

Lil Bun's Diary # 2, Being Naughty !

There is no formula or date on how and when these little bunnies become little monkeys.

I had a surprise in store this weekend, a shock that this little man can think ahead and can infer the implications.

Our lil Bun has always been fond of greens, not to eat but to hold, break and play with. When he was a little baby, he will be fascinated with plants and leaves and will try to catch it every time we pass by with him in hand.

Now he runs in his walker and crawls on his legs/ feet, he got more freedom to explore so what else can he ask for!

Yesterday i was in the kitchen and as i needed to do something, i put him in his walker for those few minutes. Then suddenly i notice there is no running around, crashing in furniture sound. Everything went quiet (like in those suspense movies before a big wooooosh).

I called his name and no response. 

I walk out of kitchen looking for him and what do i see, he is hiding in a passage. As I walk further near to him I see he is actually eating a leave from the plant standing there quietly. 

Me: Hey what are you doing here??? 

He looks up at me, a naughty smile appears on his face and next moment he starts running... not towards me but in the opposite direction so that mummy can't catch him!

I was amazed, surprised, puzzled all at the same time! 

How did he know that he can hide and do things we say not to do?

When i approached he inferred that he needs to run away if he wanted to keep eating that leaf in his hand!

And he didn't forget to pass me on that heart-melting sweet naughty smile, after which mummy can only smile and can't be angry on lil Bun!

Ohh boy!

Really?

My lil Bun is growing and growing naughtier!

Lil Bun is now 8 and 1/2 months old.

Lil Bun's Diary # 1, Being Smart !

My lil Bun is becoming smarter day by day (which he should as he grows otherwise this mamma will be worried). 
He can crawl now, mimics dadddieee apart from his usual bababa dadadada gaga papapa (but no maa or mama or mamma...sob sob), stands up holding on corners of whatever height he can get hold of and what not. (i know i will find out soon on that what not !) 

Anyway so now with this active Lil Bun, we finally lowered his bed to be on safer side last week. But before we did it, i let him play, sit, stand in his bed (of course under my supervision) and happy he was! He could hold on his bed, stand and look outside window, how nice! 

We still need to buy those safety gates for stairs though, soon...soon.

Yesterday i entered the home after work and he was playing in the hall. He saw me, smiled and immediately started running crawling towards me. You would have seen his speed and his face full of excitement and smiles. These are the moments that makes me feel loved, blessed and worth all the pains of parenting if there are any. touchwood.

He is growing up so fast, some things he does really surprises me. I was amazed this weekend when skypeing with my parents. He wanted to get hold of laptop so that he can press some keys and can shut it close and then open ( his favorite pass time now a days with doors, windows or anything which can be opened and closed).

I kept moving laptop out of his reach. He would crawl, reach there and extend his hands and just then i will pick it up and put it in other direction for him to crawl back.
After a few times he got tired, sat there, thought something and then showed disinterested in laptop. Then a moment later he targeted something which was lying near laptop. While crawling there not even once he looked at laptop and kept his eyes focused. Then he reaches there, looks up, takes a quick turn, smiles and jumps on laptop (must be thinking gottcha). Aaah smart.

But i am his mom. I knew it better; it was gone from there already. Huh.

Gosh, kids these days are smart!

Lil Bun is now 8 Months, 2 weeks.

A quick hello from a DizzyLand.

After my last post, i wanted to record how the actual flight went. But things haven't been that good lately, me being sick when we flew back and then Lil Bun being sick.

It feels like whole world has been up side down. Our lil Bun, who had been sleeping in his own room and bed from the birth, is not doing that more than half a night. First it was teething, waking him up crying at middle of night, and then it is fever and vomiting.

So with that after a few visits to his room, when our sleepy heads can take it no further, we just bring him with us to make it easy for us to keep a watch on him. 

I know that might not be the way it should be, but frankly i do not care. We co-slept with our parents till the time came when we fancied our own room with the interior the way we want, and we did turn out alright. 

Also i keep feeling i am going to miss these days soon when i can just snuggle him and shower him with kisses at my hearts content. Soon he will be running away saying mom, stop it. And soon he will want to go for night-over at his friends. So let me have him, let me enjoy him right now.

Ohh but that was not i was writing about, ya flight. Well while going, it made me cry, and while coming back i was sick and still we smiled!

So a vast vast vast difference. I had him in my hand for almost 10 hours, My hurting back couldn't take it any more,poor thing was tired than he had ever been before. So we both cried. At airport. I have never seen him crying that much ever before. I am happy it is over.

May be it was inconvenient flying hours and inexperienced we. Our first experience with him on a long flight and yet to learn how to handle him on trips. But we knew better while on the way back after being with him 24*7 for full 5 weeks. Also the flight was in the morning and hence better. He could sleep and was in a better mood. So that gives us enough courage to start getting back to our traveling spree and plan more vacations, only if out pocket allows! 

So let's see, what's in store for us. Something sweet, something breezy, something relaxing, something bright and sunny. Let's see.

Time flies, Lil Bun flies !

Now that I started writing, all i want to do is write, write, write. 
I realized that these days are too important and they are just flying away without me locking some feelings into words! 

While we are on "Flying", it reminds me of our little Bun's first flight to be; yes yes yes he is going to fly... 
... What can be nicer than flying for the first time to meet his big Indian family ! 
     ... Lil Bun is 6 months now; everyone has been longing to see him & hug him !!
          ... He will be attending a wedding for the first time, a big fat Indian wedding !!!

All smiles :o)

It's not like he didn't have any vacations so far, he had since he was just a few weeks old (his first international getaway was nearby, to Antwerp, when he turned one month old ! )but we kept it on ground TILL NOW. 
Mainly because it has been a fight to sort out all legal documents for our lil Bun so that he can travel. 
Passport took ages due to some birth certificate error which they would not inform us until we put it in for speed up after waiting for more than 3 months. But atleast then it went fast. In a week passport was ready, next week we applied for his visa/ residence permit and now it is ready in-time for us to make it to India !

We don't know about him but we are excited and at the same time overwhelmed thinking about everything and everyone together. 

I will be meeting my brother-in-law and sister-in-law first time after our wedding ! Now that is something. 
I will be seeing my 3.5 years old nephew for the first time! 
I will be meeting new generation generation babies from old friends !!
And hopefully we will catch up with some good comfort food that we have been missing over here, if our stomach allows! 

We do not know how it will be, how lil Bun will be, how will we manage and how much will he enjoy. But he will see, he will experience, he will learn and he will grow. We think.

√ / X ?

It has been an internal fight lately... i want to write but what's on my mind, what i want to write about, what i should be writing, what i should be sharing or not sharing remains a question to me.

It is a difficult phase when all you are going through or experiencing are things debatable on sharing front.

Today i was just surfing and started reading a few blogs. Beautifully shared lives and growing up.

And then i wondered why am i not writing enough?

Why did i start writing in the first place? Not for people to read, not for people to judge me, not to brag about things, not for people to know me better, not to make people jealous, not to get popular but solely to create memories and to be able to look back and re-live those words laid down over here.

What if someone says... look at her, she cannot think about anything but her baby!

What if people think i have turned my blog in to a craft blog or a whining blog or mamma blog or a baby blog!

Does it really matter?

If it worried me that much, "consequences of sharing", then i better be penning down thoughts secretly in a personal diary! 

Do i write for people to read or do i write for myself? I got to decide.

Will it be fair to me if i stop writing just because someone wouldn't want to read what i am writing about?

If not to anyone, i should be fair with myself.

When i feel that i want to catch this phase of my life, i want to wrap feelings and emotions i experience for the first time (or second time or again and again) wrap into words and put in safe for me to explore five years, ten years, fifteen years down the line.

I may remember today, i may not remember today... today might be a significant day making a life altering event of my life or it might be just another day which i wont remember after a few years but these feelings i put in words will stay, will live.

I want to share so many things and at the same time dilemma pops in whether it is appropriate to share some things. 

I want to say aloud how you made me feel, i want to share how lucky i am to have you, i want to tell you how my life change because of you. 

I want to shout from the rooftop each and every development on our little bunny front, each new mischief he did and each new milestone he passed but sometimes i am not sure if i should!

With Ashu, it was easy to ask if he was comfortable on what i share but with Lil Bun, i am not sure. I tried asking him, but whatever i ask him all he gave me is an adoring, heart melting smile with twinkles in his eyes! 

Ohh how much i love my little guy.

I don't know what individual he will end up like, he might not like his mum didn't maintain his anonymity. Or may be he will love reading what / how it used to be!

Anyway as you might have already noticed from my previous post that i decided to write, to share. At the same time in my tries to balance things out a bit my little one has become what he is to us "Our Little Bunny" (or lil Bun as i call him some times). 

When he grows up he will create his own identity and totally uptp him what he wants to be!

Bun got a bug !

Our little Bunny has been unwell lately, it is so difficult to see your little one suffer. They cannot express and you cannot make out what their cries mean.

And then to add in you get bombarded with hundreds of advises and being first time parents it only makes you more confused (i bet it will be the same for second time parents as well, just they may be able to act a bit stronger ).

When he first threw up i was filled with guilt as it happened after i let him taste a grape.  He had been eyeing while i was munching them. When he picked one up one and tried to taste it, i couldn't say no and instead helped him cutting it in a small piece. 

I loved him making faces as he tasted it for the first time, as juice oozed out from a grape. And then he gulped it, my mind raced on what was i suppose to do in the case he chocked up. But he managed to take it out on his own and very next moment a burping sound and all milk came out with a piece of grape. Another burping sound and a bigger threw up covered couch and my jeans. Cleaned him and thought it might be just his chocking reflexes which made him threw up.

After a while i prepared him his potato for dinner. He ate happily.

Then came time to go to bed and a bath before that. I gave him light exercise after short massage.  He didn't seem much in a mood so tried to make him smile. As i took him in my hand and carried towards bath, here comes a burp and before i realise i was covered in potato !

Again i blamed it on not having long time before dinner and massage / exercise.

I put him to bed and when we checked on him before going to bed there he was covered in wet clothes, seems he threw up in his sleep. Again cleaned him and as he woke up in the process put him on bed between us for until he feels sleepy again. Soon enough he was going back to sleep.  I decided to give him some milk to keep hi hydrated, he has been vomiting everything he has since evening.

I switched off the lights for him to drift off in sleep, and then i hear a burp. I switched on lights and next i see him throwing out in his sleep. Again took him off bed. cleaned him, cleaned bed and changed bedsheets.  Decided not to leave him alone in his room as he didn't seem fine. Put him in cradle beside our bed and same thing again, he threw up again. 

Now it is not that he was never unwell, he has been having his share of those  cold, runny nose moments but this was different. 
This was not coincidence but it was official that our little Bunny was sick.

SICK FOR THE FIRST TIME !!! 

(Well that is also a milestone, now he can only get stronger !)

Anyway but it didn't help my guilt which started to build up, can it be as i let him taste a grape, or to be precise a fraction of a grape?

Called the Google God and it says 8-10 months so it is early, some more guilt. 

Then followed doctor visits, (who by the way didn't react to my grape story ) making him to have diluted milk in small amount every 15 mins. It was difficult to give him small quantities as he seemed hungry at times and wouldn't want to give up on bottle and then try again in a few mins when he wouldn't want to have a bottle. Battle to keep him hydrated started. 

By the evening he started feeling warm, first check 38.4 degrees. That didn't make us worry thinking that can be as he is not feeling at his best. After two hours 39.2 degrees and then it made us worry. Gave him bath to bring the fever down, we managed to get him at 38.9 and it stayed so till next day. More doctor visits, more advises. More prescription, more diarrhea. That's how went our next few days.

So now i think that was some virus he picked up from day care or by the way he has been putting everything in his mouth lately.

Just when we were happy on how good he was doing, how good he was sleeping, we are back to sleepless nights. 

It seems he is getting better though, (better with fever, vomiting,  not better with back-to-normal sleeping patterns...sigh ! ) almost back to his normal diet. Also started back with fruit purees on name of solids. Diarrhea still there but atleast it is getting better. 

And now suddenly there appears red cheeks out of no where.

Is it an ear infection?

Is it a sign he is teething?

Is it a slapped Cheek disease?

And there starts a wondering cycle. Again.