Life in a Blur, and still so good.

Remember those times when you feel like you are living  life out of a book.

And times when you are living life in a blur.

That's what happening to my life. I don't even know if i am living it or it is living by itself.

You love to write (You means me here), everything you come across you promise yourself that you will write about it, and then it just blurs out.

So much happened in the time that lapsed. 

Lil Bun turned one end of the May. Past months he faced ear infections (twice) and had a sick period but look at him now is no more a baby, almost walking. Almost because that is as long as he doesn't know he is, as soon as he realizes he is walking on his own he comes and holds your hand. So now i am finding tricks to make him more absent minded so that he doesn't realise he is walking. Does it make sense to you? You believe and try to picture everything i say, don't you? I know. hehe 

Also I am back to love cooking, (and take pictures of it like some food maniac so that can blog about it, and then keep prostrating ! Sigh). Have so much lined up, i will get back to it. I promise. Meanwhile seriously want to get my blogs new look and feel, but i do not know how and love of my life is too busy now a days to help me out. So basically i am just waiting for some miracle to happen.

Have been feeling good to fit in old cloths ( not "old" old, but those from pre-pregnancy) but at the same time very well aware that still not back at what i used to be. But what does it matter as long as you feel comfortable under your skin. And let's face it i am not the same anymore inside out. I am a mom of a little miracle of our lives that indeed changed us and our lives inside out.  

If you don't feel good in a dress, don't buy it. If that dress is too tight for you, just notch up a number and go for another dress, as long as you feel good and you are comfortable.

Life is too short to be worried, to take stress and to worry about what other people think about you or they like you or not. 

Now that we are catching up on time lapsed inbetween, let me admit.... ahem, I also got a year older (and wiser, hopefully) this April.  It must be wiser to overcome obsession of FaceBook for say. But i am still there to keep a check on you that you don't do anything ridiculously naughty. Ohh did i just say that? What i really wanted to say is don't care for people thinking it is because of side-effect of having a baby which makes you to have not enough time. It might be true at times, but it will never be true to the core for always. Having him in our lives just taught us that there are more important things in life than living a virtual life, picturing a perfect life and eyeing other picture-perfect lives. 

I don't think being fake, jealous, judgmental or to be around such negative auroras was going to do any good to me. Instead of pretending why can't i just be what i feel like, why can't i just say what i think about.  And who cares seriously, well i know we all do care at one point or other but i mean isn't it good that you get to miss me and long to see me, just so that you can go being your bitchy/ judging self? haha But i like the part that you long to see me, i will ignore the rest ! I am in a good mood you see?  

Just my 2 cent of advise, having an awesome life in real is more important than having an awesome virtual life. Virtual life can wait, real life won't.

See i told you, i am getting wiser with age. Now don't roll those eyes, okay?

So back to so much happened...

I am really happy as after about one year i managed to be back at reading. Reading is something i always loved since i was a kid. Haven't be reading any intellectual stuff really if you ask me. Just some chic lits from Jill Mansell, just because i liked one of hers and ended up ordering so many from her. Light, and very chic. And with characters you can relate and can take you back to those bright dreamy days of hopeless romance your eyes sparkled with, once upon a time. I feel happy. All books end happy. Perfect. I love happy endings. Eventhough it doesn't make any sense in the real world still i do, I am a girl you see.

We managed to take some vacations. I don't remember if i mentioned before but i had such high hopes from Easter holidays. But i ended up cancelling and re-scheduling bookings to May because of weather (too much rain, too cold, snow in spring, seriously?) and health of my lil Bun. 

But the weather started getting better, and so did everything around us. We made a trial trip to small beautiful town of Belgium "Kortrijk" and a beautiful city from France "Lille" and of april. It was great, eventhough i was sick at the time, i felt great. We were out, breathing fresh air, bathing in sun, eating good food. Happy. Good.

And we made my re-scheduled trip from march in May. We been to Malta. Honestly it was nothing compared to what i had expected out of it. 

All I thought about was beaches, sun and warmth. And not to forget convenience of speaking english. But it ended up surprising me with much more than that it has to offer. Whether it was having a stroll in it's capital Valletta, or getting lost in time capsule in old city Mdina, or just simply standing there overlooking the Bastions ! It was perfect. 

We explored almost whole island and our lil Bun behaved himself like a pro-traveller. So proud of him. And so happy that he inherited liking for travelling from his parents.  He was so happy to be out, to enjoy the freedom of playing in open air, to stand at the balcony and gaze at sea while the breeze plays with his face. He smiled, he laughed and we all felt utterly happy. 

So what else can i say, just that Life is good. Thanks for everything that i am. And thanks for accepting me as i am. You didn't mean to me this much without a reason. Yes i mean you, you !

Hi Five.

As you know (because i mentioned in my last post !?!?), we celebrated 5 years of marital bliss this weekend. God time flies and thing is that it doesn't look like...it feels like it was just yesterday! It was funny to remember whole week what were we doing that time exactly 5 years back.

I could remember, aaah i was putting henna at this time and aah you were doing your last minute shopping for shoes! Good old memories.

What we wanted to do for celebrating 5 years was to get married again, with each other. But it didn't happen. So we live with our first marriage, with each other.

On a serious note, nothing much really as our lil Bun was sick last week. He was all good, playing happily when my sister was here. And same night that she went back he felt warm. I ignored it thinking it might be just a bit warm. Then as the day progressed i got a call at work that he is sick with high fevers. I went home, gave him paracetamol and came back to work thinking that should work. But it didn't. Another call and we were running home. We took him to hospital, which served as only to console ourselves.

Next day same, i left from work mid-day after a phone call on his condition and ended up staying home with him rest of the week. 

You can call it a coincidence and i think it as our anniversary gift that he didn't have fever that night and he managed to play whole day so we could go out for an anniversary dinner.

As we had been thinking about all the restaurants, our usual, and how boring it is becoming with lack of novelty; we decided to try a new restaurant. And it was a good change; only that their two vegetarian dishes named differently but ended up looking the same. On name of sautéed vegetables they had only choisam. So two plates full of them, (aaah that reminds me of writing a review for this restaurant before i forget about it) but thing is it actually tasted good. So no complains. Their starters were delicious and sauce accompanying was really spicy, yes spicy even for me who loves spicy food! We ended dinner selecting a surprise dessert, which was good as well. Some stuffed dumplings with rice flours, accompanied by coconut sauce and fresh fruits. 

There was one more thing on the menu that brought us smiles and cheered us up more. 

A cocktail.

And it was called "Hot Mama" ;-)

Certainly made this new mama feel hot ;-)

P.S. As some of you might be wondering about that cocktail, on menu it read "Mix van cachacha, limoen, verse gember en spaanse pepers voor een verassende bite." 

(Translation: Mix of cachacha, lime, fresh ginger and chilies for a surprising bite. However i think Cachacha should be "Cachaça" but whatever!)

Fine Nine.

We are past middle of the working week and i can see weekend already! Cannot wait, as we will be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary this weekend. No big plans, nothing special, just some lovely family time.

We had my sister and her husband visiting us this past weekend, so home felt more like home with the buzz. Lil Bun had a good time with all the pampering and attention. I was keen to see whether he remembers her aunt from his India visit and how he reacts. He is a champ, didn't react any different or strange. He acted as if he knew her well and didn't feel stranger to her at all. However he tried all the tactics to gain his uncle's attention (as he saw and met him for the first time), from staring to smiling to shouting. And he even tried to get hold of his nose...huh huh!

While they were here we visited CentrO mall in Oberhausen, Germany together. It is advertised as the biggest mall of Europe but we didn't feel it upto the hype. And there is no way it can be the biggest. But what do i know.

I felt we have better malls in The Netherlands... aah and don't get me started on shopping malls in France! We normally like food in Germany, but food we got there in food court was pathetic, not many vegetarian options and what we got we couldn't even get started on it so forget finishing it !

Anyway now that we are done with disappointed part, i liked free parking, and enough of them. Ohh and i liked Gilly Hicks store. Very warm, cosy and summer feeling! Absolutely delight. Loved it.

Ok let me just google a picture for you... so here you go. Now you see what summer feeling was i talking about? It was fun to walk in all the rooms, and not to forget payment counter look and feel. 

Gilly Hicks at CentrO, Germany

Ohh and did i mention our lil Bun turned 9 months this weekend? So 3 quarters gone! It was a special week as we celebrated 9 years of knowing each other and being together and 9 months of having our lil Bun in our hands.

I baked a special pizza to celebrate it. Why pizza? Well because it has a special place in our hearts! ;-) Some good old memories!

Mumbling me.

There are some days when you just look outside window, see some long lying dried yellow-brown leaves flying in a gust of wind and your mind just goes up, up and up.

You wonder what you are doing with your life, what you really want to do with your life. You sip some warm green tea from your mug and see the rays of sun severing through tree branches.

A dog walking on a street and a person trying to make up to him chained with the dog.

Birds are chirping, playing, flying.

And you sit there with that pen in your hand.

Don't know how long it had been.

You don't need to know.

Mystery Land

Sometimes it is not a topic you want to write about, it is just a strong feeling from within that you want to write, you want to share...no matter what.

And whenever i write, I am not trying to write something amazing or something different, i am just trying to freeze this moment, so that i can re-live it here in my words whenever i wish.

It is annoying when people try to judge you from what you write and sometimes all they do is sneaking trying to keep count of your life, but same time trying not to acknowledge it.

Then one day there comes a remark, ohhh ya THAT, right?  Read on your blog. But you never leave your foot-print or thoughts for me to ponder upon!

They come, they read, they ponder upon it and leave.

And sometimes you hear on your back, Ohh what's so great about her writing!

Anyone can write such things.

I know.

I agree.

I am what i feel.

I am what i write.

I write what i feel.

I might not be an excellent writer but i want to remember how these wonderful moments of my life made me feel. So there.

Anyway on a side note, on this side of planet, it is a nice pleasant day today. Days are getting longer, today was a bright sunny morning, still cold but good day.

We visited one of our friends this weekend, and they have a daughter almost same age as lil Bun. It is really interesting to see how they try to interact. It is also amazing that gender specific behaviors and interests they display from such an early age. A way before they might know difference of  girl and boy.

These babies are so cute, at times behaves like little devils and yet cute!

On person front, I have been going through mixed emotions lately, mainly my hormones i guess.

When i see lil Bun i feel extremely happy, when i put him to bed and bid a good night, i feel my heart crying. I do not know why!

May be 'coz i already miss him!

Or may be i just feel sad that i have to stay away from him for so much of time! But that is life.

So tell me about you, how have you been?

A Special Valentines' Day to all !

This valentines' day is special and perfect. Of course it has to be as i have two valentines this time.

Celebrations might not be the same as it used to be, but i have never felt so loved ever before in my life.

Our lil Bun has been daddy's boy from the start. At the hint of his papa's voice he jumps and now suddenly he is giving me all the attentions of the world! Could i be happier! (May be he knows that it's valentine week, so thinks let me make mummy happy ?;-) )

It is amazing to see how he understands and knows when we are at home and runs towards us blabbering something which can be easily translated in "Ohh, here you are, didn't you know how much i missed you !! " 

I love the way he looks at me when i enter the home tired from work, he stops anything he has been busy doing and starts rushing towards me blabbering in his language. And all i can say is "i missed you too baby !!" He jumps in my hand and i shower him with kisses.

He makes us happy and he teaches us we do not need reasons to be happy, being together so much in love is reasons enough.

People say your world changes with the baby and things will never be the same again. That is true, things will not be same ever again, but would we ever want it to be the same? Never Ever. We will never want THIS to change. 

From what we kept hearing it seemed it is natural that our relationship as a couple will change, and it did but it only did for good, it got stronger and better.

I am proud of being married to him; he loves both of us (me and lil Bun) with all our imperfections and makes sure new addition in our lives doesn't mean things change between us (me and him). 

When having his favorite baguettes with aioli, if there is last piece left then in stead of gulping it he asks me to take it and if i deny then he still insists and leaves me half of it ! 

Whenever we manage to go out for our 'alone' time (don't know how can it be alone with two of us together but cannot think in my current sleepy state how to put it otherwise), he doesn't make fuss about missing ten mins of his favorite Man.Utd. vs Real Madrid game. ( That doesn't mean he didn't run in front of tv even before parking car properly or didn't ask if i could park for him ! ) 

If one who can be lacking then it can only be me at times but never him. 

He is never demanding and he won't ever miss adding "and to you too" looking at me, every time he kisses lil Bun mumbling love you babbyyyy. :-)

That's our loving man.

Touchwood.

So I feel blessed. And we feel complete. 

That's to us, and to you all a very Happy Valentines' day.

I don't think i will manage baking a cake this time, but here is one that i did on one of those times.

Valentine Cake

Recipe... Here.

Lil Bun's Diary # 2, Being Naughty !

There is no formula or date on how and when these little bunnies become little monkeys.

I had a surprise in store this weekend, a shock that this little man can think ahead and can infer the implications.

Our lil Bun has always been fond of greens, not to eat but to hold, break and play with. When he was a little baby, he will be fascinated with plants and leaves and will try to catch it every time we pass by with him in hand.

Now he runs in his walker and crawls on his legs/ feet, he got more freedom to explore so what else can he ask for!

Yesterday i was in the kitchen and as i needed to do something, i put him in his walker for those few minutes. Then suddenly i notice there is no running around, crashing in furniture sound. Everything went quiet (like in those suspense movies before a big wooooosh).

I called his name and no response. 

I walk out of kitchen looking for him and what do i see, he is hiding in a passage. As I walk further near to him I see he is actually eating a leave from the plant standing there quietly. 

Me: Hey what are you doing here??? 

He looks up at me, a naughty smile appears on his face and next moment he starts running... not towards me but in the opposite direction so that mummy can't catch him!

I was amazed, surprised, puzzled all at the same time! 

How did he know that he can hide and do things we say not to do?

When i approached he inferred that he needs to run away if he wanted to keep eating that leaf in his hand!

And he didn't forget to pass me on that heart-melting sweet naughty smile, after which mummy can only smile and can't be angry on lil Bun!

Ohh boy!

Really?

My lil Bun is growing and growing naughtier!

Lil Bun is now 8 and 1/2 months old.

Lil Bun's Diary # 1, Being Smart !

My lil Bun is becoming smarter day by day (which he should as he grows otherwise this mamma will be worried). 
He can crawl now, mimics dadddieee apart from his usual bababa dadadada gaga papapa (but no maa or mama or mamma...sob sob), stands up holding on corners of whatever height he can get hold of and what not. (i know i will find out soon on that what not !) 

Anyway so now with this active Lil Bun, we finally lowered his bed to be on safer side last week. But before we did it, i let him play, sit, stand in his bed (of course under my supervision) and happy he was! He could hold on his bed, stand and look outside window, how nice! 

We still need to buy those safety gates for stairs though, soon...soon.

Yesterday i entered the home after work and he was playing in the hall. He saw me, smiled and immediately started running crawling towards me. You would have seen his speed and his face full of excitement and smiles. These are the moments that makes me feel loved, blessed and worth all the pains of parenting if there are any. touchwood.

He is growing up so fast, some things he does really surprises me. I was amazed this weekend when skypeing with my parents. He wanted to get hold of laptop so that he can press some keys and can shut it close and then open ( his favorite pass time now a days with doors, windows or anything which can be opened and closed).

I kept moving laptop out of his reach. He would crawl, reach there and extend his hands and just then i will pick it up and put it in other direction for him to crawl back.
After a few times he got tired, sat there, thought something and then showed disinterested in laptop. Then a moment later he targeted something which was lying near laptop. While crawling there not even once he looked at laptop and kept his eyes focused. Then he reaches there, looks up, takes a quick turn, smiles and jumps on laptop (must be thinking gottcha). Aaah smart.

But i am his mom. I knew it better; it was gone from there already. Huh.

Gosh, kids these days are smart!

Lil Bun is now 8 Months, 2 weeks.