Biggest Regret of my life - Day 5

Only if you turned back your life, what will you change ?

There might be all, there might be none.

If i change back my life, how will i be sure, you will be still in my life?

So basically, i love my life and i do not have any big regrets. Small mistakes ofcourse, but i wouldn't have learnt and grown without them.

When i try hard, there is one thing i can remember though during my teenage years.

That was my board exam year, i wasn't worried about my results. Because i always thought i wanted to be an engineer and i knew i will score enough to be one.

So i hardly studied. When my classmates stayed awake whole night studying, i would happily go and sleep early in my over-confidence.

My dad might have thought he has such a brilliant kids, like all parents think. And looking at my past records he thought i will score enough to become a doctor. I kept saying him that i see the life you lead, odd  hours...any time emergency calls so i am not going to be one. He laughed it out and thought might be me joking. 

Year passed and when my result came, sure enough i scored enough to be an engineer. But i broke my dad's heart. 

Only thing he told me that day was, it was ok if you didn't want to be a doctor...i wouldn't have forced you but i am shocked to see you didn't try harder thinking you might be. (And i feel ashamed accepting, he was right ! ) If you had scored for it, then it would have been your choice that you could get in anything you wanted and then you selected something you always wanted to do. Now it is you have limited choices open. 

And that moment i knew, the mistake i made.

I broke his heart and his trust, someone who trusted me and still does as much as no one in this world ever did or does.

So my biggest regret of my life is i didn't work harder, i didn't try harder.

In the years that followed, i have never forgotten those words. That was the biggest lesson of my life, try and then if you do not wish to go ahead with what is in front of you..... you will always have a choice to make. If you do not try, there will be no cross-roads to select from, no choices to make.

Favourite Comfort food / Favourite childhood toy - Day 3 / Day 4

Yes i missed Day 3, already !

But i told you my aim on the first day itself, didn't i? So today i am just going to combine Day 3 and Day 4 both, as seriously i could have written one word post for both topics if i wanted to cheat and keep the marathon day count on track.

Day 3's topic was : Favourite Comfort food.

There cannot be more difficult question for someone who just loves food.

My other blog "Cook with me..." is a proof of that, i just love to eat. I actually love to cook as well but after lil Bun's entry in our lives it has got a bit complicated.

I used to love parathas and paneer sabzis, but now a days i love different kinds of soup, i have tried so many varieties at home in last 3-4 months that i hadn't tried even in my whole before-this-obsession-started-life combined till then.

But you can't eat just soup everyday, and you need something more solid, more filling to fill your stomach. Now a days that award will go to Pizza and Pasta. We make Pizza at home atleast once a week, sometimes even after that we eat it out or order them home. And we eat Pasta min once or twice a week. So it had kind of become our staple and comfort food. We eat indian may be once or twice a week only. And when we do, we end up with bloated uncomfortable bellies complaining heavy food or over-eating !

Day 4's topic was : Favourite Childhood toy.

Now this one is even more difficult, considering i don't remember me being a toy person !

I remember i was into collecting pens. I needed a new pen before every exam, and that too only if papa got me a new one and that will be the one i would be writing my exams with. I was so fond of pens, my cupboard had a special corner for them. Whenever we visited stationery shops, all i would eye is big displays of pens. What i loved the most as gifts were pens ! haha So easy it was to please me ! lol

But when i try hard enough to remember a toy, one things which comes to my mind is a stuffed goat that i had...kind of real looking with real goat hairs. I used to love it. But then after some years its hair started coming off and my parents decided it wasn't good enough for me to play with it anymore. So for some years it stood on highest shelf where i cannot reach as i wouldn't allow throwing it away. There atleast i could see it and can be happy it is there. It was as if it was my pet, i wanted it with me all the time. I would pat it, touch it, pamper it, play with it.

I have some pictures with it, even in the family pics i have it standing beside me. I don't remember how old i was at that time.... when i got that goat i was less than 3, i am sure, may be 2. I don't remember getting it, all i remember is i had it forever from my earliest memories.

And guess what !! If it was too difficult to pictures what i was talking about, i managed to dig one photo out of old albums, have a look. haha :-D Yes that was my goat :-)

So that's for now and i am really sleepy now. Have been feeling a bit of upset stomach, so a bit headache n backache as well. Time to catch up some sleep and rest as lil Bun won't change his morning schedule to let mumma rest a few mins extra ! :-)

Good Night and have a fabulous week ahead.

p.s. i will do spell check tomorrow, promise. Sorry for my fast and furious post, which might be full of unreadable english, due to my sleepy brain. Sorry !!!

My religion, my faith. - Day 2

Now this is a tricky subject, more because i am confused how religious i am ! 

I do have faith, yes on lots of things actually. And that might have to do more with people than religion.

I really like to follow some of the traditional rituals that i grew up with and the happiness which those traditions and some associate festivities bring. Happy faces around, lots of catching up, dressing up, good food, what more do we need for a perfect day? I love celebrations.

I think there has been strong reasons behind some traditions, and religious believes... but over the time some meanings evaporated and only stubbornness to follow them mindlessly remains. And then nothing stands right, religion and faith are gone. what remains is a herd. A herd of mindless faces. 

One of the things i believe is, it is faith that has kept this society going...faith in mankind, faith in humanity, faith in tomorrow, faith in each other and even faith in own self. 

If you deduct an element of faith from our lives i think this society will collapse... depressed and with no future to look fwd to. Life wouldn't be worth living. Faith stands as a strong base pushing up the optimism, making today and everyday worth living, worth fighting for. 

So yes may be i am religious, for my religion is faith. 

Faith in you and me, and a better tomorrow around us full of strikingly happy faces. 

Come, join me in the celebrations. We don't need reasons, for life is a reason.

August Blog Marathon - Day 1 : Top 3 Pet Peeves

I came across this August Blog Marathon list on Marathon Bloggers that i am member of. ( I know, i know... yes even when i have not managed to do marathon blogging. ! Pity. i know. )

Somehow i have always been an impulsive writer so i never thought to took up any blogging marathon or say marathon challenge . I normally try to share what i see, think, feel. Kind of locking on thoughts and memories. 
Now if there is a compulsion to jot down something everyday, i don't know if i can survive. But when i was nudged to join and i read the list of topics to help write, i saw it was actually quite good. And it was also on the same line of being able to write about things i see, think, feel but wouldn't write otherwise.
So i think i will give it a try.

May be i might miss a day or two here and there, but i think better to try whatever i can manage than to quit before starting. ( Don't tell anyone but i am not aiming too high here, My aim is to manage atleast 20 out of 30 and if i manage more, that will be a pat on my back :-P)

So here we go.

Day 1: Topic: Top 3 Pet Peeves.

My list might not be typical pet peeves but it's just 3 things which annoys me and often puts me off mood when have to deal with it for longer than my a few minutes threshold. Yeah yeah i am trying to improve, but i am still far away from that zen condition where i am peaceful with my inner-self without external factors affecting me ! But i am on it, watch out ;-)

1. People not giving due credits to others.

I have come across lots of people, who listens to the flying bees and then they are "the experts". Somehow i cannot stand "I know everything" attitude. Give the credits if someone told you so, give the credit if someone taught you so, give the credits if someone helped you to accomplish it., give the credits if you actually copied it from someone. It only makes you more of a humble person. No one is born all-rounder, we all adapt, learn and grow, there is no shame in accepting it.

2. Uncalled advises.

It is not that i hate advises, i actually look fwd to some sharing and learning time to time. But when someone who doesn't know what it is to be in that shoes,  and starts advising on the topic he or she had never had to deal with... it just doesn't sound right, atleast to me.
I try not to bring those topics up to people who i know might not have faced it and so will not know integrity of the subject or situation, but still you know people pick up on some things. Fortunately or unfortunately we live in a society where for some, providing an advise, is equivalent to being helpful or caring.

So while i appreciate the gesture, i appreciate one mentioning how someone else faced something similar and coped with it, I believe it should stop there. full stop. But often it gets a bit difficult to draw a line, and that is true for all of us. 

3. Exaggeration

Whether it is about knowledge, or about a situation, or anything xyz. I believe in facts and often find myself not very pleased with how a small detail or trait can take a massive form, well not literally but in someone's mind and words.

I know it was a bit serious, isn't it? 
So on a lighter note, how about this one?

1. A clown face, full of make-up
2. Noise of scratching things, anything.
3. Smell of old green colored Indian ST buses,(ya those which green seats as well)  which are about to become extinct, atleast in Gujarat !

Phewww... ok so i am done for day 1. Let's see what Blog Marathon Day 2 brings on  :-)

Can Dreams be Real ? Part # 3

Life is really expecting the unexpected. And full of Déjà vu moments.

Remember how i wrote about, "Can dreams be real?  Part # 1, Part #2 ".

I came face-to-face with similar dilemma recently.

Last week i had a dream, about a friend that she is expecting. Strangely this is the second time that i dreamed about her, first time was last year when it wasn't true and still i couldn't shrug off strong feeling of a need to talk to her even when we were scheduled to meet in two days, during the weekend. I felt even stranger because i have never dreamed about any of my other friends in a similar fashion. (My friend at work whom i mentioned in "Can dreams be real", she even asked me a few times if i had similar dreams about her as she had for me, and it was sad to deny every time !)

So you see it was unusually unusual situation for me. When i couldn't control my curiosity any longer and didn't see her online, i ended up texting her and when reply didn't come immediately, suddenly i was as sure as one ever could be that it is true. So second text sent "is it true?”

A bit heated reply came on the line of why couples who've turned parents take it up as their sole responsibility to get everyone to join their club.... a few more texts exchanged and left me feeling uneasy, even a bit guilty...more so because i consciously try never to ask anyone such question and more never to interfere in anyone's life. Their lives, their decisions. So i felt a bit of miserable seeing what i just did!

I also felt uncomfortable thinking we were meeting in two days and i hurt us, not a very nice situation when you were looking forward to catch up with good old friend.

Anyway 2 days passed and we stood at their door. I see her and first thing i think is she can totally be pregnant.

I kept mum not to hurt her feelings again. But i can't take my eyes off her; sure her belly looks different from under that top she is wearing, that cannot be just fat and even her breasts look full.

A feeling of embarrassed rushed to my mind that i couldn't stop noticing things. I again felt the urge to tell her but then i looked at mobile in my hand, remembered our last exchange and kept mum.

Now i know very well that how much this dear friend of mine loves drinks, especially when with friends and for the first time i see her opting for a cola while people around her were having Mojitos. We waited her to join us for cheers and she ran to toilet! Even when we shouted areeeee, wait... first come do cheers then go. But she didn't stop.

When she came back and joined us with her drink, i couldn't control any longer and i had to say it - Why are you drinking cola? 

And she went all on how she had a heavy lunch which is giving her troubles and she feels constipated and needs some relief.

I didn't believe it, but was there a point to keep asking same question again and again? You cannot force it on people, right?

So we talked about things in general and waited for our other friends to arrive and join us.

When our other friends arrived and we were standing in balcony talking, i see them. Both of them, couple, making eye contacts and talking in signs. Next moment they were gone, inside. Again what can you do than to ignore? So i decided to ignore. Again.

Next they appeared was with changed cloths. And before the guy finishes we have news to share, i was hugging her congratulating!

I felt funny that i was so confident that i congratulated even without them mentioning and without listening what were the good news while others were still struggling to find out what was it and what was written on their t-shirts!!!

What if i was wrong? 

That will be dying with an embarrassment.

But well, i didn't die. I am still alive.

It was only after almost 5-10 mins that everyone were done hugging everyone congratulating and the news was settled in minds that i noticed what their changed T-shirts read, "Mum to-be" and "Pa to-be" !

Pheeeew!!

Congratulations my dear friends. Wish you a very Happy and Healthy pregnancy ahead and lovely parenthood in time to come.

God Bless.

P.S. I have intentionally kept away the identity/ names of my friends.

As much as we are excited for them, i cannot steal their happy moments to convey the news to the world. And they will as and when they are ready.

Lil Bun's Diary # 3, Small Wonders !

I keep trying to remember that i need to document small things that lil Bun surprises us with, but somehow time just runs short.  But here i am trying to do so once again.

Lil Bun has become so active now a days that keeps us on toes all the time.`

He wants to run all the time, as soon as we enter the house he runs towards us, holds our finger and pulls us outside door, yes it's time to go out. Wouldn't budge from his stand until we take him out. He loves to walk. We get tired but he keep going on.

Lil Bun surprised me the other day, he spotted a small piece of polythene, picked up the junk and before we wonder what he was upto and before i say don't try to put that in mouth he was standing there beside garbage bin, trying to open it so that he can throw it in that. Respect !!

He tries to mimic us. He sees me combing my hair, he takes comb from me and tries to comb his own hair. I brush his teeth, then he wants to brush mine. I feed him with spoon, he wants to feed me back. I dry his face with towel, then he smiles and takes towel from my hand to dry my face with it. It's like a game. Fun.

We didn't give him chocolates, sweets, cakes until he turned one, then we though he can taste it now. Initially he didn't like it that much, may be he didn't have a taste for it yet. And then to our surprise suddenly he loves it now!!!

He knows where the chocolates are, the other day he climbed the couch and reached it. Opened the wrapper (as good as he could ofcourse, half torn kind) and ate it. When I spotted him and went to him, before i ask what he was upto he bribed mom with a bite of chocolate. hmm. Trouble.

Last weekend we been to a birthday party in a park. It was so much fun. Open space, good weather...lots of kids around. Lil Bun had fun running around, playing with ball. He loves playing with ball, any kind football, volleyball, tennis ball...anything which rolls really. He automatically gets pulled towards them, and so proud his dad is seeing him playing with football. Ofcourse why wouldn't he be, his son living his dream !  

Lil Bun having fun.

So that's our lives....life is busy, and life is fun, that's life as it goes on...

Weekend Getaway - Oostende, Belgium

When we moved to Europe some years back, weekend getaways used to be our favorite. Take a day or two free from work, combine it with a weekend and just drive or fly. 

After our lil Bun, we felt like we have grown out of it and needed to settle down, we started preferring those relaxing getaways where you need minimum a week and are not rushing everywhere. Now that our lil Bun is past one, and we see how much he loves outings, it seems like we are getting back at our search of weekend getaway places. 

Thing is how many times you want to go to the same place again and again? We have been longing for a change of scenery past weeks and looking at weather last weekend, that is nice and sunny, we decided it was time for much deserved break.

So there started again the same debate, where to?

Ostend Beach front

We were almost certain we will end up driving to our all time favorite Paris, but there that question - how many times do you want to go to same place again and again? Like we have been there million times, so there won't be much sight seeing that we would be very much interested in. And what more, even our lil Bun has been there.

Then suddenly i remembered a name of a place that i came across sometime back but had been waiting for warmer days. 

So that's where we went. To "Oostende" (or Ostend) in Belgium. 

Wapenplein, Ostende's main square

We drove off like we always do, without much of a plan and last minute decisions with a few things in bag and a camera.

What we didn't realize was that it was a nice sunny weekend after such a long time, so it was as if everyone on this side of world was out there, having some vitamin D. More to that school vacations in Belgium just started. And everything in Oostende and in peripheral of 40kms was fully booked !

Nevertheless, none of that dampened our spirits and we did end up having nice time anyway.

Bell Tower at Wapenplein, Ostende's main square.

We were amazed, there were so many babies and strollers all around and not to forget so many dogs ! No wonder lil Bun had gala time. He loved walking, running, shouting with excitement at other kids and dogs. At times he would just pull our hand and wouldn't budge because he wants to go behind that dog and not where we were heading to. 

He loved looking other kids, even kids-at-heart bigger kids playing at beach. 

There were many kids riding those cycles where you lie down on your back, don't know name of that one, but lil Bun loved to look at that and was excited seeing kids riding them. 

People partying on big cycles with music and beer. Total fun.

From there we went to Brugge, one of our all time favorite. It was nice to remember good old times that we had spent there,during our previous visit, and certainly how well we still remembered those streets. 

Museumschip on the backdrop.

So that was it. Our weekend refreshing get-away. 

However before we drove back, we did promise ourselves to be back there again some day, just to do nothing and lie down there at the beach. Bliss !