Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Mumbling me.

There are some days when you just look outside window, see some long lying dried yellow-brown leaves flying in a gust of wind and your mind just goes up, up and up.

You wonder what you are doing with your life, what you really want to do with your life. You sip some warm green tea from your mug and see the rays of sun severing through tree branches.
A dog walking on a street and a person trying to make up to him chained with the dog.
Birds are chirping, playing, flying.
And you sit there with that pen in your hand.
Don't know how long it had been.
You don't need to know.

Mystery Land

Sometimes it is not a topic you want to write about, it is just a strong feeling from within that you want to write, you want to matter what.
And whenever i write, I am not trying to write something amazing or something different, i am just trying to freeze this moment, so that i can re-live it here in my words whenever i wish.

It is annoying when people try to judge you from what you write and sometimes all they do is sneaking trying to keep count of your life, but same time trying not to acknowledge it.
Then one day there comes a remark, ohhh ya THAT, right?  Read on your blog. But you never leave your foot-print or thoughts for me to ponder upon!

They come, they read, they ponder upon it and leave.
And sometimes you hear on your back, Ohh what's so great about her writing!
Anyone can write such things.

I know.
I agree.
I am what i feel.
I am what i write.
I write what i feel.

I might not be an excellent writer but i want to remember how these wonderful moments of my life made me feel. So there.

Anyway on a side note, on this side of planet, it is a nice pleasant day today. Days are getting longer, today was a bright sunny morning, still cold but good day.

We visited one of our friends this weekend, and they have a daughter almost same age as lil Bun. It is really interesting to see how they try to interact. It is also amazing that gender specific behaviors and interests they display from such an early age. A way before they might know difference of  girl and boy.
These babies are so cute, at times behaves like little devils and yet cute!

On person front, I have been going through mixed emotions lately, mainly my hormones i guess.
When i see lil Bun i feel extremely happy, when i put him to bed and bid a good night, i feel my heart crying. I do not know why!
May be 'coz i already miss him!
Or may be i just feel sad that i have to stay away from him for so much of time! But that is life.

So tell me about you, how have you been?


nameera said...

haha..I have seen a lot of ppl writing like sis too..
Lil Bun's a good name..sometime later in life he'll b leaving u to do his higher education blah you did.. think of that. haha!

I HEARD YOU said...

You don't have to write for others dear, You are writing for yourself and you are giving others a window to look at you. So you must not feel bad about it, people will always be judgmental and maybe you are too(no offence) because we are wired this way...(hopefully you feel better when you read this..;) And I have a nephew of just the same age and when he is awake the whole family is chirping and when he's asleep, everybody gets bored...So Babies do attract all of us like gravity!

~ Lopa said...

@ nameera 

Writing like this? Pls clarify, does that mean writing random, or writing like mumbling or writing about babies? :-D

I know he will be gone, i can't wait for him to be 2-3 years old when he starts knowing friendship and all and can have fun on his own, with his friend.
But for now he doesn't have friends or doesn't understand what the world means so he has just us ! Samaj aaya kya boli main? hehe

~ Lopa said...


haha. I don't feel bad as i know for every decision we make there will be two sides of it. So everything is not appreciated by everyone. And yes about being judgmental, totally agree with you that we all are. When gossiping becomes therapeutic, judgements follow right there.

I like how you put it, babies do attract all of us like gravity ! :-)

Thanks for dropping by and leaving your foot-prints. :-)

nameera said...

Writing like this, I meant - My sis clarifies in her writings that she Writes for herself...not necessary others should read or leave a comment.

Efrutik said...

Dearest Lopa,

It is so good to hear from you and especially as you share such thoughts. This really resonates a lot with me "And whenever i write, I am not trying to write something amazing or something different, i am just trying to freeze this moment, so that i can re-live it here in my words whenever i wish." Thank you for sharing.

I am now in Germany and have been here for the past 6 months. The thought and wondering about what I am doing with my life and what I really want to make of it never leaves my mind. It is like a constant companion engraved in my thought process. But I must admit that even thought I have shown some exceptional level of vulnerability and have gone through some uncomfortable moments thus far, I am nonetheless proud of myself and how things are turning out. Perhaps there is not "definite" answer for everything yet out there, but there are plenty of moments to be proud of, and I hold those very dear to myself.

There is a new blog that I'm currently keeping up, stop by if you have some time and interest :-)

sudhakar said...


Eventhough I had no opportunity to speak with you during my days in Technip, I visit and read your blog. I like your writing and articles. Long ago, when I read your article first time itself I have commented about your nice writing skills. Please keep it up.


~ Lopa said...

@ nameera,

Aaah ok.
Well i like others to leave a comment if they read it, what i don't like is sneaking and then back bashing... one can talk on my face ;-)

~ Lopa said...

@ Efrutik

Heyyyy... long time !!!
yes yes i really need to catch up with your blog.
And you should be proud of yourself, there are very few who would dare taking a plunge in like like you do !

~ Lopa said...

@ sudhakar

Sudhakar ji,

I remember it, and i really appreciate all the kind and encouraging words you pass my way.
Thank you :-)

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