Thursday, July 2, 2009

How much have I changed ... !?!?

I took this quiz on Facebook (yeah one more face book application) "How much have you changed in last 10 years"
And my result says - I am 71% changed in last 10 years!!!

That's quite a change isn't it...!
If I overlook the stupid questions asked there and think over it, I realize how true that is!!

In my last post also I was referring this change when I wrote "Time...Time...Time... How time flies...!!" And this isn't just about what I wrote there, this is about our habits, our surroundings, our thinking..!!
It has nothing to do with actual literal change in me, or age reflecting on my skin.... but what I am talking about here is about all different phases of life.


The phase, I was in, was totally different 10 years back, and now it's totally different life!!
That was the time, I had just entered the college life, fresh out of high-school, so excited about experiencing different world which we read about, heard about, visualised and dreamed about.... “The College life”!!! Staying in hostel, first time away from comfort of home, Away from pampered-ness of family, everything was new.... and now... Everything is new again BUT in a different way ... That and this are totally different phases...

Those were the days we lived on pocket money and had all the fun and now are the days we earn ourselves and still fight to manage the expenses with xx times more income…!!!
Those were the days we lived with friends in hostel, now we live with our partner in our own houses...!
From that common use computer for everyone in home days to we have moved to one notebook per person in home era....
And those were the days we used to wait for a call from home, from friends at common hostel phone on a fixed time, and now?? After those days at hostel I have changed at least 7 mobile phones until today in these 10 years! (Yeah 2 of them I lost, that's also a different story)

When I was in school, I was so anti-social (ya still I am). I would love being with my friends, cousins but if we have guests coming in the evening for dinner or something, I will better be reading something in other room or just sleep. And when mom or dad will ask to go there and talk, I always wondered that why do they that? What have we got to talk with them? And every time same talk...ohh look at you, you look so grown up, she is growing fast huh.... how is your studies going on? So which grade are you in now? same things every time and we have to reply with a big smile and they will act so happy as if it really mattered a lot to them, knowing those stupid stuff about us.... or may be that happiness was real as they felt these kids talked so nicely smilingly and that means kids like them !!! Hahaha Who knows!!!

Personally I so so hated when that conversation happened, and so did my brother (Viv) and sister (Dipu) at times... Viv and I shared almost all common weirdest things and feelings agreeing with each other on everything like this (we both being 'introvert' as they used put it ) but ya Dipu was a little different at times as in general she is extrovert and more easy going among we three when it comes to talking with people. But then those times she will run and will like to be there in other room with us hiding.
It used to happen that whenever door bell rings; we three will run away in other room hoping no one remembers that we exist and won't call us out for that conversation...hahaha... But aaah they never forgot us!! Mom used to get angry at times and would wonder that why the hell whenever bell rings; in stead of opening the door we run in opposite direction towards other room to lock ourselves in !!!

(When I visualize that scene now, it looks so funny... Imagine a scene where 3 mice are feasting and enjoying and as soon as they hear the footsteps or any noise they all run together towards walls to their burrows.... hahahaha ... OMG, I am laughing now while writing this with that visualization!! )

Then came this college / university phase. Staying in a hostel itself is a big change, it brought some changes in me too and one of that was at that time I always felt like I can talk with anyone on any topic. I will start talking with some one in train while coming back home, I will start talking with someone while waiting for a bus or for train, I will start chatting with people in auto, I will start chatting with anyone. And I will talk and talk. At time I will be surprised myself that how can I talk with any stranger compared to how introward I was in school time!! I think may be that was the age.... being in late teenage years....Amah !!
(The period I am talking about here is my graduation days at Engg. and not those MBA days!! Yes they are different! )

And now it has again come to a circle. Now I can talk but if I want to and many times I just don't want to!!!! Sheeesh...
Many times I just don’t feel like talking. Now I wonder how I did that back in university!!
But I think I have learned so much in past years, I respect individual more with their knowledge. (About that I plan to write a whole other post)

I think age brings more self-consciousness, why will it be that?? May be as we think more on repulsions of what we speak. We don't want anyone to feel bad, we don't want anyone to take us wrong; we don't want anyone to get hurt. Many times we are conscious because we know whatever we speak, it is not safe. It can be misinterpreted, We can be judged over that, and sometimes if we are too frank about others it can harm that relationship and if we are too frank about ourselves it might be used against us... and so we talk less, And whatever we talk we think before we speak, (yeah yeah we think twice before we talk, alright?) We become more opinionated, more judgemental, may be our ego becomes more prominent !

(Aaaah they are not noticing me than why shall i?? Ignore just ignore.... I didn't see them !! Why should it be always me who has to initiate the conversation?? AND that is how many times it starts.... All sitting in a room, all full of ego, all full of themselves to talk even with a person sitting in a next chair ! ).

May be this is because of the fact that now we spend more time with colleagues than with friends..!!
Because we spend more time staring at our computer screens than those open grounds...!!

And I think this is the reason that now we don't make those many friends that easily the way we did in school, the way we did in college...!

P.S. This post is a generalised writing, reflecting my thinking process of whatever came in my mind while writing it, Real life situation differs person to person, It doesn't represent anyone/ anything / any incident.

10 comments:

Nithya said...

Why this disclaimer :)
Well talking of ur bachpan has got me nostalgic. Things were so different then very independent, carefree.
U know Lopa even I was an introvert in my childhood. Just had one frnd whom I used to talk to. I changed when I did my MBA. I was a different me. Now again I have gone back to my cocoon. Ignorance/innocence is bliss. Now when I talk I have ten other things running in background.. how is he gonna take it etc.. the points that u mentioned... In earlier days we never bothered abt these things.. innocent kids that we were.. complete fun n masti... Reading ur blog I realise I have lost a part of myself somewhere down the lane of responsibilities and change.. Need to look for it :) Thanks

RG'S ARCHIVES said...

ha ha ha. the best part in the blog that i liked was the disclaimer, which so clearly reflects in a nutshell what you tried to say in 1000+ words in the post. u clearly didnt want anyone to feel that the negative side of ur post indirectly refers to the one reading it.

btw, didnt i tell u, the more you promote the more hits you get. so leave no stone unturned. facebook, orkut, gtalk, yahoo chat, etc, etc.. whatever u use, promote ur blog link exclusively. thats the way to go.

~Lopa said...

@ Nithya

That disclaimer is to prove my point in of the post, how our minds work with age ;)
And i agree that ignorance/innocence is a bliss indeed...hehehehe

@ RG

Hahaha, you got me right ;)
Yeah, the blog was always in my orkut and FB profile but i didn't promoted it as I felt more comfortable with idea of just writing about my daily life and close frnds reading it. But then when u advised, i thought why not so as a trial case put this link in FB, now lets see how that works :)
But ya i definitely don't want to put it everywhere that all on my friend list start running away from me thinking all i can think about it promoting my blog....hahaha lol

chahna said...

wow....
I really enjoyed this blog, specially when u mentioned 3 of us (me, u, and vivek) as mice running in opposite direction...
that was so true and funny, even i laughed a lot when i read it...
It was nice to read something which we all know but only when we read it somewhere we realize and do think of it...
keep going darling sister....

Aw.S.M said...

Oye but the important thing here is..yes u may have changed 71% but u ve changed 71% for the good. U ve become a more complete person, a more sensible person, u have a loving doting husband..so all in all u r better now than u were 10 years ago...so SMILE be happy...:)

nice post..liked the new style :)

luv
amith

~Lopa said...

@chahna

I knew u r going to love that part....hehehehe n i know viv is going too, only if he will get time to read it...hehehe
love ya, miss ya guys so much...

@Aw.S.M
Hehehe, yes i agree, thats what i meant that even if i have changed that is because of different phases of life and its for good :)
So i am SMILING as always and I am very very happy...hehehe
Thanks :)

nameera said...

heehee..
We Run inside the store room or kitchen :D
with i pod or a book!

nice post!!

~Lopa said...

@nameera

hehehe, Yeah store room and kitchen are nice places too for hiding... ;)

thamarai said...

A very nice post Lopa! I think in some ways this is the story that most of us can relate to. I think as we grow up we think too much and over analyse a lot of situations! and the part about staring at the computer all the time...can't agree with you more!

~Lopa said...

@ thamarai

Thanks Thamarai :)

Yes and sometimes when we don't have much work, all what we do is staring at our screens ;) I can see few colleagues doing that right now ;)

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