Few days back I got an e-mail from one of my friends, he had been asking me for some recipes to try his hands on as he was going to be alone at home and wanted to sharpen his cooking skills.
Whatever I suggested turned out didn't suit Indian environment considering availability of seasonal vegetables and fruits, so here he goes on his own... making sure to keep me updated with his cooking adventures ;)
(All rights for this post belong to my friend simplyhardik, for those of you reminding me of breach of copy rights .... Prior permission to post it over here has been taken)
Batti Balls ki kahani... simplyhardik ki jubani (My reactions in italic blue)
Since last few days, due to absence of my mom's at home, I have started cooking. - ohhh no
Being a gourmetian, I have always experimented myself on various tastes. - Ohh yeah, now I know reason of that little extra effect all-over you ;)
So yesterday, I tried to make Dal -Batti, a rather difficult decision to make without the presence of my mom, but I was determined to cook it, as I was improving on my cooking since last few days & positive aspect was that I was improving in the taste also. - he he ha ha ha.... I know what improvising in the taste means here ;) yours or food's?? :D
I bought the required atta for Batti & ingredients for dal , however what was difficult to make turned to be simple. One needs to mix all the three varieties of dal i.e. mong, udad, tuvar and then cook in the pressure cooker. Afterwards it should be mixed with required masalas, however Dal should be spicy to add the taste. Masala's include mirchi, ginger, lal mirch powder, lasun, salt. Thus the dal was ready on the cooking gas for heating. - Phew....that's easy dude..!!
It was like Sonia Gandhi needed to give speech in Italy, soooo easy, I enjoyed making as it was fun. - Sonia Gandhi's speech in Italy??? When... where exactly...how??? Seems I missed it :( May be çoz I wasn't born yet at the time of that speech?? ;) hee hee hee
Now coming to the easiest part of the recipe i.e. Batti. - Ohh yeaah
Batti is much easier to make than roti, no need to shape it like roti which is most difficult aspect, God knows how Mom makes it, but I had tried it once upon a time, I could make it any shape like amoeba, but could not make proper shape for roti. - I can, I can since I was a kiddo in school.... so what if I am a girl... common give me some credits !!!
Coming back to Batti, one need to mix flour with water & some curd & salt to add taste. You need not have any specific shape just make some ball shape of medium size, Afterwards it should be kept in the Oven & then few minutes later the Batti was ready . - That surely sounds easy!!
Tragedy has the perfect timing as always it strikes at the right time without fail & never misses the target, so it happened to me. While trying to crush the Batti with my hands, failed to crush a single part of it, others also tried it but all in vain. - Oooops didn't turn out as easy as it sounded!!
All of sudden it started appearing as if breaking stone would be much easier than crushing the Battis. After a while hands gave up vehemently. - Ooo poor guy :( so then what happened???
Another try... to use the hammer to break it, but while trying it, Batti hit directly to a person standing nearby on his head, he started caressing his head & thus this idea also failed. - :( :( :( hoping that other guy didn't have to go to hospital
Any more ideas?? Yes... to grind it in the mixture, as soon as I started the mixture, strange sound started & then mixture blades broke out. - Ooooh boy, when back, mom is going to kill you dude!!! And ya I got it that other guy didn't have to go to hospital looking at you still there with yet another idea to try on your Battis ;)
(After yet another failed attempt my dear friend wasn't yet ready to accept the defeat, I guess this is what he must be shouting at that time.... Ohh Batti... I won't accept defeat from you... suna tune?? It is i, who created you with my this hands... and it is I, who will destroy you with my this very same hands.... he he ha ha ha... mogambo laugh)
The next idea was to collect all Battis together in a cloth & hit it on the wall. (Yeah the concrete wall, dude nice try). All of a sudden it became useless; probably Ambuja cement may also not help the purpose now. (Bhaiya yeh deewal tutti kyu nahi - use my Battis, thus my Battis can be used to unite the divided family) - heee heee heee, now even your dad is gonna kill you buddy ;)
To help you readers imagine what he did next - After so many tries he sat on chair scratching his head, then it happened ... an idea ... and so much like in Hindi movie a scream of simplyhardik...
What an Idea Sirji!!! (How do I know this??? No, I didn't put camera in his house!! Grrrrrr)
So here is what I think, After trying all ideas which apparently failed, I can send these Battis to IPL as they can use it for replacement of cricket balls and can earn additional income out of it, with special coverage by Mandira Bedi who will discuss every aspect of it apart other than main crux & Harsha Bhogle will discuss at length how Battis turned into balls & what prompted me to have dal-batti for dinner- origin is the root cause of everything. (Wah kya dialogue hai!!)
As IPL has been huge success, so will be my Battis & thus the business sense will prevail & I will be in full fledged manufacturing of Battis for cricket matches which can be extended to other sports like hockey, table tennis, golf, etc & if the quality of Battis is brittle, then origin purpose of Battis can used - for food, I can open a restaurant also & or can hire a franchise. - sahi bole sirji.... true as you said... what an idea sirji ;)
Aha Gujarati's business acumen will prevail. ) As there will be huge brand equity for my Battis. - Can we be partners in profile sharing?? :-/
Product: Battis Ball - a multipurpose product
Brand Ambassador: Abhishek Bachchan with his What an Idea Sirji!!!
Thomas Edison has rightly said that many failures in life are when they do not realize how close they were to success!! - Yes man, I totally agree... simplyhardik tum aage badho hum tumhare sathe hai...singing hum saath saath hai... :) [Translation: simplyhardik you go ahead, we are with you, singing title song from Hindi movie hum saath saath hai which means we are together!!]
P.S. - No, I didn't give that recipe to him.
P.S.S. - No, Those ideas also weren't product of my mind.